Crumpets & Kerosene

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Puzzle horror with table banter intact.

The gist

Crumpets & Kerosene follows a 5th Edition campaign where social scenes can turn into lethal games, cursed vials, riddles, and undead threats. Kelly keeps the table moving with offhand humor while recurring characters like Charles, Blanche, and Elizabeth test plans against strange rooms, suspicious hosts, and unreliable bargains.

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About Crumpets & Kerosene

Crumpets & Kerosene is a 5th Edition actual-play campaign with a scrappy table feel and a strong appetite for darkly comic trouble. Kelly serves as host and Dungeon Master Storyteller, introducing scenes with a casual, self-deprecating rhythm before dropping the party into something far less casual. The recent stretch plays like a chain of haunted social encounters. A funeral becomes a chance for deception. An inn visit grows uncomfortable before anyone reaches a bed. A dinner party reveals itself as a survival game with traps, locked doors, disappearing hosts, and an hourglass counting down. It moves fast when the danger arrives. The fun is often in the hesitation beforehand, as the players inspect objects, ask oddly specific questions, and try to decide whether a vial is medicine, resurrection magic, acid, poison, or a terrible idea wearing a useful label. The campaign favors rooms with secrets. Books, numbers, paintings, apple trees, foam on plates, chutes beneath chairs, candles, clockwork locks, and portraits all become possible clues or threats. Charles, Blanche, and Elizabeth tend to approach the world with different instincts, so scenes turn into negotiation before they become action. Someone wants to read the room. Someone wants to question the priest or the husband. Someone wants to move the coffin before the situation moves them. That push and pull gives the show its texture. The horror is present but rarely solemn for long. Undead fear effects, corpses in kitchens, suspicious cooks, paralyzing food, and unsettling NPCs sit beside jokes about episode titles, favorite bands, scary movies, art, drinks, siblings, and the realities of recording multiple episodes at once. The table talk stays visible. Rules clarifications are part of the rhythm, as are missed rolls, microphone bumps, side comments, and the occasional title-worthy aside. That makes the show feel less like an edited fantasy drama and more like a campaign night preserved with its rough edges. Its strongest moments come when the players realize the room has rules they do not know yet, then begin testing the walls of the game from inside the fiction. Crumpets & Kerosene works best for listeners who enjoy actual play as social strategy, not just performance. It offers puzzle horror, character banter, and improvised problem solving from a group willing to let confusion, comedy, and danger share the same table.

Made for: Best for actual-play listeners who enjoy 5th Edition mechanics, fantasy setups, and the sound of players reasoning through danger in real time. It especially suits fans who like puzzles, strange NPCs, and casual table humor alongside the campaign story.

What sets it apart: The show stands out through its handmade, conversational energy: Kelly’s rulings, player uncertainty, and out-of-character jokes remain part of the experience. Its recent episodes lean heavily on trap rooms, riddles, social deception, cursed objects, and oddball horror rather than straightforward combat alone.

In their own words

Crumpets and Kerosene is a real play 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons Campaign inspired by our favorite science fiction, video games, tabletop games, pencil, and paper games, books, movies, and our imaginations. Join our gamers as they meet up online to play the year's biggest release only to find out that the game is more real than expected.

Why you'd press play

A burning bear prompts a fire-safety joke; you'll know if this is your kind of game night.

Press play if you want

  • to hear a failed perception check turn a two-headed bird into the main attraction
  • to follow a grim kitchen investigation that somehow raises questions about the chef's table
Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →
5th Edition actual playfantasy puzzlesriddles and room trapsstrange inns and dinner partiescursed vials and potionsundead encounterstable banter and rule callscharacter introductions and icebreaker questions

Talks about

Best episodes of Crumpets & Kerosene

Short reviews from the PlayNext desk, based on the episodes we processed.

S3 Team Alpha Episode 22: Riddle for freedomMar 13, 2023

A cleric follows a numbered-book riddle through biblical clues, failed checks, and a suddenly sprouting apple tree.

Crumpets and Kerosene frames a sibling question as the doorway into a 5th Edition actual-play puzzle, with Charles Wolfe, Philippe's cleric, trying to make sense of random books, three-digit numbers, and a riddle that seems to lean toward a biblical clue.

S3 episode 21: Dinner party with a GameFeb 18, 2023

A dinner table, hidden chute, and hourglass turn a fantasy meal into a survival puzzle.

A dinner party shifts into a mechanical survival game when the husband tells his guests they must be the last one standing and uncover each room's secret before they can move on.

S3 Team Alpha Episode 20: Another 1 in the BagJan 17, 2023

A resurrection mystery turns a handful of vials into dangerous evidence.

A Dungeons & Dragons session settles into a resurrection problem with a sharp chemical risk: the vials may tether a soul to the plane of existence, but each player is told their vial works differently.

Team Alpha Episode 19: Typhoid MidgeJan 5, 2023

A D&D search for Midge turns kitchen small talk into darkly comic suspicion around a dead guard.

A routine Dungeons & Dragons search for Midge turns grotesque inside what appears to be a family-run business. The questioning keeps drifting from a cook and filthy kitchen spaces to someone who died yesterday and the guard who has just died, until the whole scene feels both…

S3 Team Alpha Episode 18: Night TerrorsDec 30, 2022

A tired party looks for dinner and beds at an inn where the welcome feels difficult to trust.

Crumpets & Kerosene turns a search for food and beds into a quietly uneasy piece of actual-play theatre. Kelly, the Dungeon Master and Storyteller, guides the party into an inn where practical choices -- eat, sleep, leave early -- sit beside darker questions about a prison…

Podcasts like Crumpets & Kerosene

Episodes

  1. 1

    S3 Team Alpha Episode 22: Riddle for freedom

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets & Kerosene S3 Team Alpha Episode 22 opens with Kelly Williams asking the cast about siblings before the table shifts back into a 5th Edition dungeon crawl.

    Mar 13, 2023·1h 3m·4 clips
  2. 2

    S3 episode 21: Dinner party with a Game

    Hidden gem

    A dinner-table puzzle in a nameless house turns into a five-course survival game when the host says the party must be "the last one standing." Kelly Williams runs the table as Dungeon Master, while Felipe Garcia, Stephanie Mccleskey, and Bettina Schroeder play Charles Wolfwood, Blanche Gray, and Elisabeth Everly.

    Feb 18, 2023·57m·4 clips
  3. 3

    S3 Team Alpha Episode 20: Another 1 in the Bag

    Hidden gem

    ["Crumpets & Kerosene's \"S3 Team Alpha Episode 20: Another 1 in the Bag\" centers on Abraham's resurrection business, where bodies are stored for three years and 500 gold buys a very literal insurance policy.", "Philip Garcia as Charles Wolfwood, Stephanie McCleskey as Blanche, and Bettina Schroeder as Elizabeth Everly drive the table talk, starting with odd habits like pairs, constant singing, and potion-like jars.", "Kelly Williams recaps Typhoid Mitch, the purple rose poison, and Blanche's mage hand crushing the flower into Mitch after a resurrection test.", "The party ends up at a polished house with armed occupants and artifacts from different centuries, turning the session into a moral and investigative choice rather than a clean solve."]

    Jan 17, 2023·1h·4 clips
  4. 4

    Team Alpha Episode 19: Typhoid Midge

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets & Kerosene's Team Alpha Episode 19, Typhoid Midge, opens with an Ice and Dice convention ad in Cincinnati, Ohio and then drops into a Noxplay 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons table run by a dungeon master who plays most NPCs.

    Jan 5, 2023·1h 43m·5 clips
  5. 5

    S3 Team Alpha Episode 18: Night Terrors

    Hidden gem

    The audio opens with an Ice and Dice convention ad for Cincinnati, Ohio, then shifts into Crumpets & Kerosene, a fifth-edition Dungeons and Dragons actual-play led by Kelly.

    Dec 30, 2022·1h 7m·4 clips
  6. 6

    S3 Team Alpha Episode 17 Oh she Not Dead

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets & Kerosene: The Golden Age follows Charles Wolfwood, Elizabeth Everly, and Blanche Gray as they investigate a suspicious funeral and attempt to resurrect a dead woman.

    Dec 25, 2022·57m·4 clips
  7. 7

    S3 Team Alpha Episode 16: First mission or our Last

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets & Kerosene’s “S3 Team Alpha Episode 16: First mission or our Last” follows Elizabeth Everly, Charles Wolfwood, Blanche, and Twig as they begin Abraham’s corpse-revival assignments.

    Dec 18, 2022·1h 2m·4 clips
  8. 8

    S3 Team Alpha Episode 16: We have a new job

    Hidden gem

    Callie Williams leads the Crumpets and Kerosene Dungeons & Dragons party through a confrontation with armed hooligans, a graveyard, and an apothecary.

    Dec 2, 2022·47m·3 clips
  9. 9

    S3 Team Alpha Episode 15 Street Hooligans

    Hidden gem

    Dungeon Master Kelly leads Team Alpha through a town where a living breakfast precedes a visit to the Widow's Maker, a spider-run clothing shop.

    Nov 23, 2022·1h 3m·4 clips
  10. 10

    S3 Team Bravo Episode 0: The Priory of the Shadow Nuns

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets & Kerosene begins a Team Bravo campaign with Andrea playing Ruth, a paladin who arrives at the Priory of the Shadow Nuns.

    Nov 17, 2022·1h 9m·5 clips
  11. 11

    S3 Episode 14: Leveling up and Breakfast Time

    Crumpets and Kerosene’s “S3 Episode 14: Leveling up and Breakfast Time” follows Charles, Elizabeth Everly, and Blanche as they reach level two in a shared dream.

    Oct 13, 2022·56m·3 clips
  12. 12

    Benchleydale Academy Part 1 Expedition to the Barrier Peaks

    Hidden gem

    Timothy Conley leads Team Alpha through Gary Gygax’s 1976 Barrier Peaks module using Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 1st edition rules.

    Oct 4, 2022·1h 26m·5 clips
  13. 13

    S3 Episode 13: Shopping with the Widow

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets & Kerosene’s “Shopping with the Widow” follows Blanche and Elizabeth through a capital-city shopping trip after a giant-rat encounter.

    Sep 27, 2022·1h 5m·4 clips
  14. 14

    S3 Episode 12: Patty vs Henry

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets and Kerosene: S3 Episode 12 follows Zandra O'Keefe and Blanche as they pursue money, reputation, and equipment in the town of Baladon.

    Aug 25, 2022·1h 25m·5 clips
  15. 15

    S3 Episode 11: The Marle District

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets and Kerosene: S3 Episode 11, “The Marle District,” follows Kelly's international Dungeons & Dragons party as Charles Wolfwood searches for a holy place in an unfamiliar city.

    Jun 22, 2022·1h 1m·4 clips
  16. 16

    S3 Episode 10: Warlocks, Rangers and Sushimi

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets & Kerosene: The Golden Age follows Blanche and Elizabeth through a library where a glass orb identifies Blanche as a wizard and Elizabeth as a ranger.

    May 19, 2022·40m·3 clips
  17. 17

    S3 ep 9: Battle of the Bards part II The House of Gray

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets & Kerosene’s “S3 ep 9: Battle of the Bards part II The House of Gray” follows the party after a bard competition, where they receive 14 gold, re-strung instruments, two free nights, and one city reputation point.

    May 12, 2022·46m·3 clips
  18. 18

    S3 Episode 8: The Battle of the Bards Part I

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets and Kerosene: “The Battle of the Bards Part I” places Zandra O’Keefe, Elizabeth Everly, Blanche Gray, and Charles Woolford in a 5th-edition Dungeons & Dragons bard contest.

    May 5, 2022·57m·5 clips
  19. 19

    S3 Episode 7: Reputation Who Need's That

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets and Kerosene follows Elizabeth, Charles Wolfe, Blanche, and Zandra after a one-year time jump leaves them deciding whether to seek a king or a church.

    Apr 13, 2022·1h 20m·5 clips
  20. 20

    S3 Episode 6: Fast Forward one Year

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets & Kerosene: The Golden Age follows Charles Grayson, Elizabeth Everly, Blanche Gray, Wolf, and Twig as a pocket watch displays August 17, 1503, coordinates, and an exact time.

    Apr 6, 2022·46m·3 clips
  21. 21

    S3 Episode 5: A Bath to Remember

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets & Kerosene: The Golden Age opens with Morai, a spectre formed from Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos after Zeus destroys their physical forms.

    Mar 30, 2022·58m·4 clips
  22. 22

    S3 Episode 4: Roman Bath House

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets and Kerosene Golden Age: S3 Episode 4: Roman Bath House follows dungeon master Kelly and players Stephanie McCluskey, Bettina, and Istartios Koutsoumanis as Blanche, Elizabeth Emily, and Charles Grayson.

    Mar 23, 2022·1h 28m·5 clips
  23. 23

    S3 Episode 3: A new friend on the Path to the City

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets and Kerosene's Golden Age episode follows Kelly's new adventuring crew as Elizabeth Everlust emerges from a tree while searching for her fox Oliver.

    Mar 16, 2022·1h 6m·4 clips
  24. 24

    S3 Episode 2: What's in the woods

    Hidden gem

    Crumpets and Kerosene: S3 Episode 2: What's in the woods follows Kelly’s Season 3 Dungeons and Dragons party into a confrontation with a nine-foot brown bear.

    Mar 9, 2022·1h 20m·5 clips
  25. 25

    S3 Episode 1: Castaway's

    Crumpets and Kerosene Season 3 opens with Kelly, a host and Dungeon Master, introducing a new crew whose characters travel from the 1800s toward the 1500s.

    Mar 2, 2022·1h 10m·4 clips
  26. 26

    S3 Episode 0: Charles Wolfwood “Wolf” Aka. The Cleric

    Feb 23, 2022·1h 14m
  27. 27

    S3 Episode 0: Elizabeth the Ranger and the search for Oliver

    Feb 16, 2022·50m
  28. 28

    Episode 0: Zandra the Scarlet Rogue

    Feb 12, 2022·48m
  29. 29

    S3 Episode 0: Blanche Gray Family History

    Feb 4, 2022·56m
  30. 30

    S3 Episode 0: Charles Grayson into the Void

    Feb 1, 2022·1h 8m
  31. 31

    Episode 65: Ep Unplugged the End of Season 2

    The season finale of an actual play D&D campaign where the characters begin to dissipate as a patch is incoming.

    Jan 28, 2022·1h 17m
  32. 32

    Episode 64: Pirate Beholder

    Jan 13, 2022·1h 33m
  33. 33

    Episode 63: Is this Real or a Dream part 2

    Jan 8, 2022·1h 12m
  34. 34

    Episode 62: Is this Real or a Dream part 1

    Jan 5, 2022·1h 11m
  35. 35

    Episode 61: Treasure Bay

    Jan 4, 2022·1h 53m
  36. 36

    Episode 60: Behold Kraken

    Jan 3, 2022·1h 21m
  37. 37

    Episode 59: battle of the Ships

    Dec 9, 2021·1h 13m
  38. 38

    Episode 58: What is our Future

    Dec 9, 2021·1h 28m
  39. 39

    Episode 56: Let's Hire Some Help

    Dec 8, 2021·1h 33m
  40. 40

    Episode 57: New Passenger master

    Dec 8, 2021·2h 21m
  41. 41

    Episode 55: Let's Call it Odyssey

    Dec 6, 2021·2h 2m
  42. 42

    Episode 54: Deck the Ship Out

    Dec 6, 2021·2h 2m
  43. 43

    Episode 53: Dueling Dragons part 3

    Nov 18, 2021·1h 20m
  44. 44

    Episode 52: From Land to the Air we Go

    Nov 8, 2021·1h 2m
  45. 45

    Episode 51:Let's Save the Ranger

    Nov 1, 2021·2h 11m
  46. 46

    Episode 50: Let's make Camp

    Oct 25, 2021·1h 53m
  47. 47

    Episode 49: What did the book Worm Leave

    Oct 16, 2021·1h 35m
  48. 48

    Episode 48: Battle to the End

    Oct 9, 2021·1h 15m
  49. 49

    Episode 47: Fighting the Complete NPC

    A group of gamers play a 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons campaign that becomes more real than expected.

    Aug 25, 2021·1h 20m
  50. 50

    Episode 46: One Sword one Kill

    A group of gamers plays a Dungeons & Dragons campaign that becomes more real than expected, with comedic banter and dice-rolling.

    Aug 23, 2021·1h 14m