LAUNCH: Parenting Tips for Raising Adult Children & Building Better Relationships · Shari Jonas - Parenting Consultant, Educator and Author

#54: Is Your Adult Child Struggling to Make Friends? Why Social Skills Are So Important & What You Can Do to Help

·39 min·2 clips

Mara says masking is "fitting in" but not belonging, and it can lead to exhaustion and burnout.

The concern starts at home. A parent sees an adult child pulling back, dodging connection, or getting anxious about friendships, and the host treats that worry as something parents can respond to. Mara McLaughlin calls them social skills, plain and direct. She describes soft skills as the everyday abilities behind conversation, emotional regulation, reading cues, and adjusting when another person is not really engaged. They are not manners for manners' sake. They affect work, friendship, feedback, and the basic act of joining a conversation without missing what someone else is signaling. The host pauses on the phrase because parents can hear social skills and think politeness, when the episode is talking about something more practical. Starting a conversation is one part. So is noticing whether someone turns toward you, answers with interest, checks a phone, backs away, or gives short replies. Co-regulation comes into it too. The guest frames emotional regulation as relational: a young adult learns to steady themselves while also reading the other person. The workplace example makes the point sharper. McLaughlin says employers may pick someone with stronger soft skills over someone with stronger technical skills and weaker interpersonal ability. Blunt, but useful. Friendship struggles can show up later in employment, feedback, and independence. Neurodivergence complicates things. The guest says judgment and ableism still show up, especially when capable people disclose autism or ADHD at work. The warning is practical. Parents need to see both the strengths their adult child has and the social risks that appear when other people misunderstand them. The episode keeps coming back to action: notice the signs, understand the skills underneath, and help without shrinking a capable adult child to a diagnosis.

As heard by us

A grounded look at social skills as teachable tools for friendship, workplace communication, and greater independence.

This episode centers on adult children who pull back socially, struggle to form friendships, or carry anxiety into everyday interaction. Mara McLaughlin of IRL Social Skills frames social ability as a practical ingredient in confidence and independence, not a vague personality…

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Why you'd press play

You want to help a socially withdrawn young adult without turning every awkward moment into a family emergency.

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