Is My Child A Monster? A Parenting Therapy Podcast · Leslie Cohen-Rubury

Krystal & Burt Part 1 of 3: When Kids Pick up on Marital Tension

June 24, 2025·54 min·2 clips

Leslie Cohen-Rubery sits with Crystal and Bert, a UK-based couple raising 12-year-old Matt and 8-year-old Margo on a farm. At first, the problem sounds like ordinary sibling rivalry. It turns out to be more layered than that. As they talk, a deeper pattern comes into view: the children are reacting to the strain between their parents. Crystal describes the pressure of carrying a lot and feeling like much of it lands in her direction. Bert answers from a different place, saying he does not feel loved and has not had a hug or much affection. Leslie holds both truths at once. She reframes the issue as a family-system problem, not a single child's behavior problem. That shift matters. She points out that parents and children can all be different for good reasons, including temperament and upbringing. Those differences are not treated as excuses. Instead, the session asks what happens when they stay unspoken and unmanaged. Crystal says she tries to talk with the children when things are calmer. She also uses quieter moments to explain what happened and to name feelings more carefully. Bert does not always notice those efforts. Leslie uses that gap to show how easily a couple can miss each other's work even while both are trying. The conversation stays tender but direct. It keeps circling back to connection between co-parents as the thing that steadies the rest of the house. Leslie ends by giving homework that centers daily connection rather than endless correction. The session also sets up later work on phone use and family meetings, but the main lesson here is simple: children often sense the temperature of a marriage before adults do.

As heard by us

When co-parent strain shows up in the kids, the conversation turns sharp, humane, and useful.

The episode starts with sibling rivalry, but it settles into something heavier: co-parent tension, parental overwhelm, and the way kids absorb what is going on around them.

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Why you'd press play

You want a clear look at how co-parent tension reaches the kids.

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