How We Get Thru Podcast: Wellness, Healing & Spiritual Tools for Growth in Real Life · Jen Hershey

S3 Ep 79 Exploring Men’s Work & Vulnerability with Pat Sperry

·1 hr 13 min·5 clips

Pat says women “just want to be seen,” and names presence as the masculine gift.

1. How We Get Thru Podcast: Wellness, Healing & Spiritual Tools for Growth in Real Life centers on Pat Sperry’s men’s work, vulnerability, and self-discovery conversation with Jen. 2. Jen is the host, therapist, and mother; Pat Sperry is the guest and founder of Flourish, which makes his perspective on relationships and inner work relevant. 3. The episode asks what men learn when they stop chasing achievement and start learning emotional presence, accountability, and self-acceptance. 4. Pat describes growing up in an affluent suburb outside Chicago with a supportive but competitive father, which shaped his drive. 5. He says he played on the U.S. national team as a young soccer player and later went to the University of Michigan on scholarship. 6. He studied filmmaking, wrote songs, moved to Los Angeles for “grandiosity and fame and success,” and worked as David Beckham’s body double for a while. 7. Pat says he found yoga through a DVD, took his first shavasana, and then did a 200-hour teacher training two weeks later. 8. He says a four-year backpacking period through India, Nepal, and China became part of his search for masters and self-discovery. 9. Pat describes becoming a “soft male” after realizing his hypercompetitive style was not sustainable. 10. He says the path of the “warrior” means putting down numbing and avoiding so he can sit with emotional restlessness. 11. Pat names perfectionism as a condition where achievement is “never enough,” even after success in sports, music, and yoga. 12. Jen connects his story to shame, anger, and the process of appreciating earlier versions of the self without condemning them. 13. Pat says women “just want to be seen,” and he frames presence and attention as a masculine gift. 14. He says men’s work includes skill-building in listening, giving feedback, receiving feedback, and communicating in relationships. 15. Pat points to the concept “be seen, be loved, be long” at Flourish as a summary of what people need in connection. 16. He says responsibility in relationships means seeing what another person triggers inside you instead of blaming them for your feelings. 17. Pat and Jen also discuss pain and pleasure, and Pat says yoga and spiritual practice still do not stop anger, rage, or neuroses from returning. 18. The conversation stays intimate and reflective, with Jen sharing her divorce, her own vulnerability, and her anger around parenting. 19. Listeners who want men’s work, relationship skills, yoga philosophy, and honest self-inquiry will likely connect with this episode. 20. Listeners looking for a light, low-disclosure chat about wellness may skip it.

As heard by us

A reflective conversation about masculinity, self-acceptance, and emotional honesty.

Pat Sperry's conversation stays grounded in lived experience, moving from his years as a competitive athlete into a more settled practice around yoga, vulnerability, emotional intelligence, love, identity, and owning one's emotions.

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Why you'd press play

You want a deep, heart-opening conversation about men's work, vulnerability, and self-discovery.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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