#553 - "Το Σεξ Είναι Για Να Το Απολαύσεις Εσύ, Όχι Το Άλλο Άτομο" - Σταύρος Καρπουχτσής

·1 hr·5 clips

The top sexual problem for young men isn't physical—it's that they approach sex as a performance to satisfy women, not themselves.

Host Despina Kanakoglou welcomes psychologist and systemic psychotherapist Stavros Karpouftsis for an episode focused on sex and sexuality. Stavros introduces himself as a trainer of mental health professionals in systemic sex therapy. The conversation begins by addressing the pervasive lies about sex perpetuated by media, Hollywood, and pornography, which create a false belief that everyone else is having perfect, easy sex. Stavros notes that even therapists often avoid asking about clients' sexual lives due to personal taboos. He highlights a key clinical finding: the primary sexual difficulty for young men today is an inability to orgasm because they approach sex as a performance for their partner's benefit, not for their own enjoyment. The discussion touches on the impact of the pandemic and increased screen time on social and sexual connections. Stavros shares an anecdote about a 70-year-old woman who maintained a satisfying sexual life and insisted on finding solutions when her husband faced health issues. The episode explores how people, both men and women, struggle to identify what sexually works for them, often deflecting to their partner's actions. Masturbation is reframed as a healthy sexual activity and an indicator of functionality, even during depression. Stavros emphasizes that sexual activity is not linear and includes non-penetrative acts like hugging and flirting. He presents a model for sexual arousal involving three parameters: sensory stimuli, bodily responses, and thoughts/evaluations, arguing that overthinking inhibits pleasure. A central thesis is that sex should be focused on one's own enjoyment, as this presence and self-focus are paradoxically more arousing for a partner. The conversation critiques societal stereotypes, including the invisibility of women over 40 and the lack of research on menopause. Stavros advises that good sex in long-term relationships requires flexibility, allowing for 'bad' sex, and seizing spontaneous moments rather than waiting for perfect conditions. The episode concludes with the idea that sex is a physical activity and a form of communication, requiring self-exploration and compassion.

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