Cat Noir Comedy Podcast · Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders

The Curse of Punctuality

February 17, 2025·32 min·2 clips

The hour man is described as trapped in a “nuclear lock” and “only able to kill four people every hundred years.”

1. Cat Noir Comedy Podcast’s “The Curse of Punctuality” follows Charlie and Jim chasing the meaning of The Hour Man across Bond’s office, a church, and Waterstones. 2. Charlie Blunderwedge is the writer pushing the Hour Man story, while Jim Bond is the publisher who keeps tallying Lady Gaga quotes and mocking the manuscript. 3. The episode asks whether the Hour Man is a story, a hoax, or a monster that punishes people for being exactly on time. 4. Bond lists the manuscript’s problems: no punctuation, 19 main characters, repeated “sausage,” and a setting that moves between Wales and Scotland. 5. Archie insists the Hour Man is real and says his document will be the only written evidence that he existed. 6. Archie vanishes after the argument, and Charlie and Jim later find that a delivery driver has turned to dust after arriving “dead on time.” 7. Manny Shed at Manshed UK links the mystery to a wellbeing centre, a church called St Eddie’s and St Grant’s, and a habit of arriving exactly when expected. 8. Charlie says the driver had a cheap plastic sex doll delivery and a nametag that only said “Driver.” 9. Manny explains that he had already seen a previous visitor asking about a goblin or “embodiment of death” connected to the same legend. 10. Reverend Green, wearing a tutu and calling himself a fan of The Smiths, redirects Charlie toward the church confession box. 11. Green reveals Archie had come to make a “sizeable sum” donation and then later says he is the suspect if Charlie is looking at him that way. 12. Jim and Charlie read Archie’s rewritten notes and find a passage saying the Hour Man was “born from fire” and destined to kill “four by one hundred” every year. 13. Charlie and Jim argue over whether that means 365 days, a leap year, or one hundred people every four years. 14. The flashback to Kent in 1947 shows Dr Malcolm Practise, called Mal, and Gary Shingles observing a nuclear test from a very long, very awkward route. 15. The blast leaves a single figure in the light, and the show names him the Hour Man, trapped in a “nuclear lock” and powered by fission energy. 16. The Hour Man is described as a government assassin who will dispense justice to enemies of the United Kingdom if they arrive on time. 17. Later, Charlie learns that Jim is five minutes early because Charlie wound Jim’s watch back and changed all the clocks in Jim’s house and office. 18. The showdown uses a sex doll decoy, a timetable trick, and the rule that the Hour Man can only kill four people every hundred years. 19. The style is fast, dialogue-driven, and packed with repeated running jokes about time, well-being, and badly written fiction. 20. Listeners who like surreal comedy, fake-investigation plots, and pun-heavy banter will enjoy it; listeners who want straight procedural logic may not.

As heard by us

A cursed pitch turns punctuality into a disaster.

Archie pitching The Hour Man to Mr. Bond gives the episode its first real hook, and the joke keeps working because the idea is so plainly cursed.

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Why you'd press play

You want a cursed-clock farce where every polite conversation turns into a deadline, and the curse of punctuality keeps closing in.

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