Cat Noir Comedy Podcast · Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders

Restoration Falls: Omnibus

October 14, 2024·44 min·3 clips

My friend was screaming the place name on his deathbed.

Pat Sanders and Kevin Jules perform as characters Charlie and Jim in this dark comedy audio drama. The episode follows the two friends as they arrive at the exclusive, mysterious Restoration Falls health spa in the Alps. Charlie and Jim are greeted by increasingly unhinged staff who warn them away before they check in. Charlie reveals a secret phobia of pine cones and is intrigued by the spa's "special treatment" that promises to cure any fear in one session. A movie star guest, Agatha Kensington, uses the treatment for extreme weight loss, paying £10,000 plus a £1.5 million tip. A voice actor named Cookie Pancake explains the treatments are not permanent and that guests who run out of money disappear. Charlie undergoes the treatment and wakes up obsessed with pine cones, having left an enormous tip. Jim grows suspicious when Cookie vanishes and staff deny his existence. Jim discovers the treatment involves patients being strapped down and having a giant "phobia slug" placed on their head, which erases their memory of the procedure. He finds a hidden room housing hundreds of these named slugs, like "Colin cures anxiety." The spa's owner, Bernie Slug, is revealed to be a giant talking slug in a suit. Staff members Sweeney and Todd corner Jim and Charlie with the intent to kill them or force them into servitude. The friends escape into Bernie's office, which overlooks a steep waterfall. The tone is a blend of absurdist British comedy and creeping horror, with rapid-fire dialogue and escalating weirdness. Listeners who enjoy quirky character dynamics and genre parodies with a sinister edge will love this episode. Those preferring straightforward narratives or who are unsettled by body horror elements might want to skip it.

As heard by us

A spa break in the Swiss Alps turns into missing-person chaos, phobia slugs, and very odd hospitality.

Restoration Falls puts Jim and Charlie in a spa resort in the Swiss Alps and lets the civility turn sour fast: Charlie vanishes after a special treatment, and the staff keep answering real concern with breakfast timing and complimentary service hams.

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Why you'd press play

Press play if you want a mountain spa retreat that quickly turns sideways.

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