Cat Noir Comedy Podcast · Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders

Omnibus: Honk's Kitchen

August 19, 2024·53 min·3 clips

Chefs must cook vegan meals—with a cow watching as the guest judge.

Honk Romsey opens the broadcast like a man interrupting his own disaster. He drags the audience live to Penribbit for the semi-final of Honk's Kitchen, where the final four chefs have survived 135 weeks of weekly eviction and whatever else the competition has thrown at them. The prize is the head-chef job at Honk's latest acquisition, Honk's, a mobile restaurant and burger van parked along the A47 just outside Swatham. That is meant to sound glamorous. It doesn't. Chef Honk starts going spare over scallops that are cooked wrong and over sweetcorn that somehow becomes a personal insult. He also goes absolutely cray-cray at a cameraman who he thinks looks at him wrong between takes. Everything is treated as if it is perfectly normal, which is the only thing making it worse. The competition then folds into a palate challenge and ingredient guessing game. Marita gets all ten ingredients and lands a Tuscany fantasy for her trouble. Bill guesses every ingredient and still manages to eat the wrong dish, which is an impressive way to miss the point. Vince only gets five of the ten ingredients and has the added shame of having served cold cucumber on a hot-car bonnet earlier. Chef Honk keeps the room in a state of suspended judgement while the next elimination is teased and delayed. A break interrupts things with Woko singing about being single and wanting to be noticed from over twenty metres away. The recap then barges back in and repeats the sweetcorn meltdown like it has nowhere better to be. After that, the episode starts flinging out more sketch fragments. There is a money hustle. There is a pregnancy announcement. There is a shop-counter exchange. There is a doctor who cannot keep his face straight around a nurse. The whole thing keeps moving by contradiction, interruption, and the sort of literal-minded panic that makes a tiny mistake feel like a public inquiry. By the end, Vince Casserole is checked on six months later, now installed in Honk's burger-van empire with slightly less glory and a lot more beef smell.

As heard by us

A live cooking show parody where small mistakes keep escalating into bigger chaos.

Honk's Kitchen plays like a live semi-final that keeps slipping into farce, with the last four chefs chasing the prize of becoming head chef at Honk's new mobile restaurant and burger van.

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Why you'd press play

You want a cooking contest that detonates over scallops and sweetcorn.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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