Cat Noir Comedy Podcast · Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders

Omnibus: Away with the Drizzle

September 30, 2024·40 min·2 clips

Lacuna Matata crashes through the studio wall and introduces himself as a vampire named Lacuna Matata.

1. Cat Noir Comedy Podcast’s "Away with the Drizzle" centers on Ben Catastrophe showing Nigel and Deirdre Shadsack homes on the Ferrero Rocher Isles. 2. Ben acts as the property presenter, while Nigel and Deirdre are the prospective buyers whose comments drive the scene and the jokes. 3. The episode asks whether Ben can place a dream retirement home before Nigel’s lease ends tomorrow and the couple’s "about five pounds" budget. 4. Nigel and Deirdre have rented on the island for three months after selling up in the UK, and they say they have wanted the move for well over eight months. 5. Ben describes Ferrero Rocher Isles as a place where it is "always sunny until 9pm" and where one beach house sold for "all the tea in China." 6. The first property is an upstairs apartment in Palm Canyon priced at £283,000, with a garden and pool included. 7. Nigel worries that an upstairs apartment would float if the downstairs owner knocked their side down, and Ben explains that the building has a contract against structural changes. 8. Deirdre says she works solving Rubik’s Cubes for £20 each, while Nigel says he likes to "frolic" alone in the front garden for hours. 9. Ben later reveals that the downstairs business sells coffins, which he says should not affect the apartment or outdoor space. 10. The property reveal eventually folds back into the couple’s secret: Nigel and Deirdre are vampires. 11. Deirdre says she was feeding at Nigel’s funeral-parlour workplace when he saw her and she changed her voice and appearance. 12. The couple say they bought the place using money from the house sale, the pianos, savings, and "that pound" Ben gave them. 13. Ben’s on-air interruptions include a complaint that Nigel and Deirdre are "a five-year-old’s hand-painting" version of a brief and that he cannot stand them. 14. A separate Digging Deeper segment interrupts the property episode and turns into a Halloween debate between Reginald Crudbucket and Kenneth Tool. 15. Reginald objects to Halloween partly because he cannot decide whether it has an apostrophe, while Kenneth defends it as "one of the last few sentiments keeping the shambles of a country glued together." 16. Lacuna Matata enters through the studio wall, identifies himself as a vampire, and demonstrates the show’s chaos by draining the guests. 17. Lacuna Matata also says he can change his voice and physical form, and the presenter reacts by trying to keep the interview moving. 18. The format mixes property parody, radio-talk chaos, and deadpan character comedy, with the presenter repeatedly trying to regain control. 19. Fans of property parody, vampire gags, and absurd character banter. 20. Listeners wanting a straight property show or a calm interview.

As heard by us

A house-hunt farce that keeps turning ordinary fuss into undead office chaos.

An island retirement-home hunt starts out like polite real-estate theater and then drifts into a neat little farce of deadlines, squabbling, and one very inconvenient vampire.

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Why you'd press play

For when a retirement-home hunt comes with apostrophes, a lease that ends tomorrow, and one very rude vampire.

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