Breaking Free - A Body, Mind, Spirit Approach to Mental Health · Sommer A. Seitz, MA, LMHC

Episode 54: Embodying Your Desire Part II

·46 min·3 clips

In Tantra, the goal of orgasm is taken completely out of lovemaking.

Summer Seitz welcomes Naomi Slater back to continue their conversation about desire. They stay with the part many couples miss: wanting closeness is not the same as knowing how to build it, and the work often starts with education, vocabulary, and concrete tools. The pace is calm and deliberate. Naomi keeps returning to language. She explains that people often run out of words when they try to describe what is happening inside them, especially when the moment is already charged. The conversation pauses on what counts as a feeling and what actually carries blame. "Attacked" is used as an example of an evaluative word rather than a clean emotional label. The point is not to police speech. It is to find the feeling underneath the reaction so the conversation can become more honest and less reflexively defensive. From there, the episode opens into a wider list of possible truths. Anger may be present. So may feeling unsafe, unheard, lonely, sad, or unseen. Naomi describes how she works with couples and with women in group courses. People are invited to choose someone they want to speak to and then practice saying the feeling out loud. Another woman stands in for the person on the receiving end. The exercise makes it obvious how quickly blame enters the room. It also shows how much changes when the speaker has enough words to stay with the feeling instead of sliding into accusation. Summer keeps the exchange grounded in the bigger hope beneath it, which is that desire can be embodied without fear and without shame. The closing note is gentle and direct: intimacy may be natural, but it still asks for practice, curiosity, and care.

As heard by us

Desire needs language, practice, and patience before a relationship can hold it.

Summer Seitz and Naomi Slater keep the conversation on a useful, practical question: how people learn to carry desire, love, and commitment in a real relationship.

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Why you'd press play

If your words keep landing as blame when you mean hurt, press play.

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