Backdoor BOINK[A (Silly) Sexual Wellness Podcast] · BOINK

Put My Mouth Where? - Oral Pleasure

·32 min·2 clips

The 'wall of vulvas' is Kayla's answer to self-consciousness about how vulvas look.

1. Backdoor BOINK[A (Silly) Sexual Wellness Podcast] frames “Put My Mouth Where? - Oral Pleasure” around comfort with oral sex and the reasons people avoid it. 2. Kayla says she is a certified relationship and intimacy coach, and MJ says she “brought the lube,” which sets up their roles in the discussion. 3. The episode asks what to do when clients say they do not enjoy giving oral, receiving oral, or either side at all. 4. Kayla says clients raise this concern across all genders, and MJ brings a receiving-focused perspective that is more about boredom than rejection. 5. Kayla says she prefers giving pleasure over receiving oral because she gets bored, cannot relax, and wants “something to do.” 6. MJ says that receiving oral can become hard for vulva owners because the brain starts tracking chores like laundry and work instead of sensation. 7. The hosts connect that mental drift to the need for vocal feedback, dirty talk, and active participation during oral sex. 8. Kayla says some people dislike oral because of hygiene worries and the body’s “multi-purpose” nature, especially concern about where a genitals are also used for elimination. 9. Kayla recommends a conversation with a partner as the first step, and she repeats that no one has to like oral sex. 10. She says people can also decide not to pursue oral at all, because there is no standard that requires enjoying giving or receiving it. 11. For people who want to be less averse, Kayla suggests starting straight from a shower, after a full clean, with a partner approaching slowly. 12. She recommends reassurance through words of affirmation, like commenting on how clean a person feels or how good their skin feels. 13. Kayla says if showering helps someone access intimacy, they can later scale back to a quick washcloth and still stop if they become uncomfortable. 14. When the issue is appearance, Kayla tells vulva owners to Google the “wall of vulvas” and see the range of shapes for themselves. 15. She says the visual variety is confidence-building and compares it to different flowers, while MJ says the concept was something she needed to see earlier in life. 16. For a bad oral experience, Kayla emphasizes trust, safety, and slow acclimation, and she treats a bad bite as a trauma-level concern. 17. The hosts also say that if a bad experience happened with the current partner, the answer is an honest conversation using a “bullshit sandwich” of compliment, concern, compliment. 18. MJ and Kayla keep the tone conversational and comic, with interruptions, riffing, and a limerick about a tattooed price and braille on a body. 19. Listeners curious about sexual communication, oral comfort, and body-image concerns will get direct advice. 20. Listeners wanting a clinical lecture or a serious tone may skip it.

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