Backdoor BOINK[A (Silly) Sexual Wellness Podcast] · BOINK

Part 2: To Play or Not to Play

·33 min·3 clips

Kayla breaks down the key difference between open relationships and swinging in just two sentences.

This episode continues the hosts' discussion on navigating sexual and romantic relationships beyond a primary partnership. Hosts Kayla, a certified relationship coach, and MJ explore various forms of non-monogamy, building on their previous conversation about non-penetrative "play" or scenes. They define monogamy as a commitment between two people and introduce "monogamish" for rare, agreed-upon extracurricular activities. The conversation shifts to umbrella terms like swinging and open relationships, noting the rising preference for "ethical non-monogamy" or ENM to distinguish it from cheating. They mention polyamory, explaining it involves multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships, often forming a "polycule." Terms like "paramour" for a direct partner and "metamour" for a partner's other partner are defined. The hosts reference the concept of "compersion," or feeling joy from a partner's happiness with others, as an opposite to jealousy. They discuss how relationship structures can involve hierarchies, where some connections are prioritized, often due to practical considerations like parenting. One host expresses personal bandwidth limitations for multiple relationships but finds the "village" concept of shared households appealing. They speculate whether jealousy is evolutionary or learned, pondering how children raised in ENM households might view relationships differently. The episode notes that labels are personal and flexible, serving as conversational shortcuts within communities like BDSM or LGBTQ+. The hosts emphasize asking polite, open-ended questions to understand someone's specific relationship model. They observe that ENM is becoming more visible, particularly among younger generations. The tone is casual, conversational, and exploratory, with humorous asides and personal anecdotes. The style is educational but digressive, feeling like an unfiltered chat between friends. Listeners curious about non-monogamy terminology and ethical frameworks will find this a helpful introductory overview. Those seeking a tightly structured, deeply researched examination of polyamory might find it too scattered.

As heard by us

A loose, frank hangout that treats non-monogamy as logistics, feelings, and work.

Part 2 stays with scenes rather than penetration, and the real pull is how play and partnership start to blur. Kayla and MJ sound most natural when a blunt question turns into plain talk about ethical non-monogamy, jealousy, time, and the grind of finding a relationship shape…

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Why you'd press play

You want a blunt, funny take on ethical non-monogamy, jealousy, and what play means after the last episode opened a can of worms.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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