Awakening Women Podcast · Leanne Oaten

[Best of Replay] Setting and Maintaining Emotional Boundaries in High Conflict Relationships

·18 min·1 clip
Leanne explains why narcissists intentionally cross boundaries to drive you up the wall as a control tactic.
This replay episode of the Awakening Women Podcast focuses on establishing emotional boundaries within high-conflict or draining relationships. Host Leanne Oten, a former counselor and creator of the Relationship Clarity Program, mentors ambitious women navigating complex relationship dynamics. She draws from over 13 years of experience in mental health and empowerment work. Oten explains that emotional boundaries involve choosing one's responses and detaching from a partner's actions, especially when verbal assertions have failed. She describes a dynamic where some individuals, termed "boundary bullies," intentionally cross stated limits as a tactic for control. The episode references her "Should I Stay or Should I Go" masterclass, which delves into the chemical addiction to chaos, adrenaline, and cortisol in traumatic relationships. Oten states she works specifically with women who have stopped trying to change their partners and are ready to detach. A key insight is that boundary work is for self-protection, not to elicit change from an unresponsive partner. Oten argues that many women are in an "emotional entanglement pattern," unconsciously led by repressed trauma and unhealed experiences. She identifies a common trap of seeking excessive information without it changing life circumstances, calling this being "informationed to death." The episode stresses that the deepest form of disrespect is when someone repeatedly crosses a clearly set limit. Oten shares that she has coached women in severe situations, including where children's safety was at risk, emphasizing the seriousness of these dynamics beyond online "fluff." She claims her skill is finding the "root cause" of emotional addiction, which she says talk therapy or affirmations often miss. Listeners are advised to start by simply noticing how others impact their emotional state, asking, "Is this mine to feel?" The host announces she has opened a limited number of spots for her intensive, application-based one-on-one coaching. The tone is direct, instructional, and empathetic, blending personal mentorship with psychological concepts. The style is a solo monologue, with the host speaking authoritatively from her coaching and counseling background. This episode would resonate with women feeling stuck in confusing, high-conflict relationships who seek actionable strategies for emotional self-preservation. Listeners looking for a balanced debate or a partner-focused approach to conflict resolution might find it less applicable.

As heard by us

A clear take on emotional boundaries, circular conflict, and the pull of relationship entanglement.

The episode keeps its focus on emotional boundaries in relationships that loop back on themselves. What lands best is the difference it draws between setting a boundary and trying to manage someone else: the point is to own what is and is not acceptable, not to keep getting…

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Why you'd press play

When every argument turns into emotional quicksand, this gives you a way out.

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