How Do You Find Yourself Again After Identity Loss, Trauma, and Caregiving?

·57 min·5 clips

Susie McNamara explains how her identity instantly changed from wife to caregiver, altering her entire world.

The episode begins with host Lori La Bey introducing the topic of identity loss after caregiving, drawing from her personal experience with her parents. Guest Susie McNamara is introduced as an author, widow, former lawyer, and fundraiser. Susie explains that her memoir covers caring for her husband, who had early-onset Alzheimer's with posterior cortical atrophy, which affected his vision and understanding of numbers. She describes the instant identity shift from partner to caregiver, leading to social isolation and changed priorities. Lori and Susie discuss the lack of support after diagnosis, with Susie noting she felt overwhelmed and unsupported. Susie shares that support groups didn't work for her, but a Facebook group for spouses of those with posterior cortical atrophy provided valuable information and a sense of control. She also participated in online prayer groups for socialization. Susie emphasizes the importance of being kind to oneself and finding ways to feel like oneself, such as through journaling or talking with friends. The conversation turns to Susie's memoir, where she explains the symbolic titles: the silkworm represents sheltering from the outside world, the magician symbolizes lost marital magic, and the sister tree is a memorial for her sister that became a community space. Lori shares her own caregiving experiences, including how coffee with friends helped refill her soul. Susie discusses the impact on her four adult children, who became caregivers themselves, and the challenges of early-onset Alzheimer's for younger families. The episode concludes with Susie promoting her book, available for pre-order, and Lori encouraging listeners to share resources.

As heard by us

A candid conversation about how dementia can alter marriage, identity, and the search for support.

Identity loss in dementia caregiving comes through as a shift in marriage, money, and the caregiver's own sense of self. Lori LeBay's conversation with Susie McNamara, author of The Silkworm, The Magician, and The Sister Tree, is grounded in McNamara's experience caring for her…

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Why you'd press play

When dementia caregiving has changed your marriage and your sense of self, this conversation sits beside you without rushing the grief.

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