Story Not Sorry 2: "Cat Person"

February 3, 2026·30 min·1 clip

Kate Tell says grief has "no process" and no checklist after her father died.

1. Alyssa Milano’s "Sorry Not Sorry" seasonal series "Story Not Sorry" centers on Kate Tell’s essay "Cat Person." 2. Kate Tell is a writer and poet based in Hoboken, New Jersey, and she is working on a chapbook about grief and her first novel. 3. The episode asks what anticipatory grief means when a pet is still alive but aging. 4. Tell says she has struggled with generalized anxiety and panic disorder for a long time. 5. She explains that she wrote the first draft in 2022 while her cat was very sick. 6. Tell says her cat has since died, and she also lost her father last year. 7. She connects the essay’s brace-for-impact feeling to "when you brace your knees, when you're jumping off of a ledge." 8. Tell describes grief as something without a checklist, and she recalls asking therapy how to "get better." 9. She says her partner reacted differently to the cat’s death because he wanted to focus on the positive and stay in the moment. 10. Tell says her cat turned a two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment into "his planet" with favorite chairs, perches, the fridge top, and the bathtub. 11. She says even after the cat died, a blanket still smelled like him and made her burst into tears. 12. Tell argues that pets are "dying always" because their lives always have an end date, even when they are healthy. 13. She links that idea to the unknowability of life, including a suddenly changing apartment building or the political trajectory of the world. 14. Tell says care becomes most important when animals are sick, older, or need many pills, sponge baths, or saline injections. 15. She says her childhood dog’s death taught her that the hardest part was never seeing the animal again. 16. Tell says a new pet later in life can make the end date feel more present and make daily care more cherished. 17. The tone is reflective and intimate, with Milano asking follow-up questions about grief, space, and mortality. 18. Tell’s answers move between personal story, essay craft, and specific details about cats, dogs, and family loss. 19. Listeners who like grief writing, pet stories, and literary interviews. 20. Listeners wanting fast entertainment without discussion of loss.

As heard by us

A tender reflection on how imagining a pet's death can feel like bracing for the fall.

Anticipatory grief quietly shapes this episode as Kate Tell faces the coming death of her 13-year-old cat before it arrives. Her essay stays close to the small, telling memories of a pet carried through childhood, including an ill-fated leash attempt, while the conversation…

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Why you'd press play

When your cat is still here but your mind has already started grieving, you may need this.

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