Saving You Is Killing Me: Loving Someone With An Addiction
50 episodes listed below
Support for loving without self-erasure.
The gist
Saving You Is Killing Me focuses on the exhausting emotional life around another person’s addiction. Andrea Seidel brings personal reflection, positive psychology language, and practical boundary work to grief, guilt, hypervigilance, and self-care.
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About Saving You Is Killing Me: Loving Someone With An Addiction
Saving You Is Killing Me is built for the person standing beside addiction and slowly losing track of themselves. The show’s focus is not the mechanics of substance use, but the emotional weather around it. Recent episodes linger on love, loss, guilt, fear, and the daily pressure to keep everything from falling apart. It is intimate work. Andrea Seidel speaks from lived experience and from the language of positive psychology, self-compassion, resilience, happiness studies, cognitive support, and cognitive behavior therapy. The show often names the patterns that people in these relationships struggle to explain. Emotional whiplash gets a name. So does cognitive dissonance. Hypervigilance, trauma bonding, abandonment pain, conditioned responsibility, and the helper-hero burnout cycle become recognizable instead of private shame. The core message is steady: caring for someone does not require disappearing into their crisis. Episodes often return to boundaries, but not as cold ultimatums. They are framed as a way to stay grounded, preserve identity, and stop confusing love with constant rescue. The pacing is conversational and tender, with recent walking episodes giving the material a direct, reflective feel. That looseness matters. It lets heavy subjects breathe. A listener hears the strain of trying to love someone who may deny, distort, disappear, or briefly seem like the person they used to be. The show treats that grief as real. It also resists the fantasy that more fixing will solve it. Alongside the solo reflections, the broader project includes books, community spaces, a private Facebook group, Instagram support, and an invitation for listeners to contribute stories to a collective book. That gives the show a mission-driven shape beyond weekly episodes. Saving You Is Killing Me is best understood as a compassionate guide for people who have been over-functioning for too long. It offers language, steadiness, and permission to become human again.
Made for: For partners, parents, family members, and loved ones affected by another person’s addiction. It especially suits people wrestling with guilt, grief, vigilance, boundaries, and the fear of letting go.
What sets it apart: The show centers the loved one’s nervous system, identity, and recovery from over-functioning rather than treating addiction only as the user’s crisis. Its blend of personal reflection, positive psychology, self-care practice, and community storytelling gives it a warm but practical shape.
In their own words
Do you love someone with an addiction? Are you struggling? YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There is no mistaking it - drug abuse is a worldwide epidemic. If someone you know is caught in the grip of addiction, you are no doubt living in your own personal nightmare. Whether you are dealing with the turmoil that comes from loving someone with an addiction or feeling broken and knocked down from the aftermath, Saving You Is Killing Me is your go-to book and podcast that can help you take back your power and your life.When you love someone who drinks too much or suffers from an addiction, it hurts. Life is not ‘normal.’ You may feel alone, but you are not unique in your pain or dilemma. Nor are you isolated…
Why you'd press play
This is the show that asks you to hand back the hero cape.
Press play if you want
- permission to stop confusing love with holding everything together
- clear language for boundaries that does not make you feel heartless
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Episodes
- 1
232 - Love, Loss & Letting Go: When the Person You Knew Disappears
Hidden gemAndrea Seidel discusses grieving the loss of a loved one to addiction while they are still alive, and the process of letting go.
Apr 16, 2026·18m·1 clip - 2
231 - Am I Overreacting? When Addiction Feels Like a Questioning Yourself Dilemma
Andrea Seidel discusses the feeling of overreacting when loving someone with an addiction, emphasizing self-care and walking as a practice.
Apr 9, 2026·18m·1 clip - 3
230 - Breaking the Guilt Loop: Saying No Without Shame
Andrea Seidel discusses the challenge of saying no without shame for those loving someone with an addiction, offering support and community.
Apr 2, 2026·21m·1 clip - 4
Turn Pain into Purpose: A Special Invitation to Join Our Collective Book
Andrea Seidel invites listeners to join a collective book project about turning pain into purpose, drawing from the Saving You Is Killing Me community.
Mar 26, 2026·11m - 5
229- When Letting Go Feels Impossible: Support Through Abandonment Pain
Andrea Seidel discusses the difficulty of letting go when loving someone with an addiction, sharing personal insights while walking for self-care.
Mar 26, 2026·19m - 6
228 - Comfort vs. Chaos: When You’re Exhausted by the Lies and Enabling
Mar 19, 2026·19m - 7
227- After the Truth Comes Out: How to Rebuild Trust When Honesty Finally Arrives
Mar 12, 2026·16m - 8
226- Faith, Boundaries & Inner Peace: Loving with Strength, Not Suffering
Hidden gemAndrea Seidel argues that loving someone with an addiction can include boundaries, self-differentiation, and protection of personal peace.
Mar 6, 2026·22m·1 clip - 9
225- When Detox Isn’t Enough: Rebuilding Peace After Broken Promises
Feb 26, 2026·17m - 10
It’s Your Turn to Be the Light: The Story You’ve Survived Could Save Someone Else
Aug 14, 2025·16m - 11
224: I Want to Help… But I'm Done Being the Hero The Helper-Hero Burnout Cycle & How to Step Out of It
Andrea Seidel, author of Saving You Is Killing Me, describes the “helper hero burnout cycle” that led her to manage bills, household repairs, research, and a loved one’s addiction while losing sleep.
Jul 2, 2025·22m·1 clip - 12
223: Is It Allergies… or Addiction?— When You Start to Notice the Signs Before They Say a Word
Andrea Seidel explains how the “helper hero burnout cycle” develops when someone repeatedly tries to save, fix, or rescue a loved one with addictive behaviors.
Jun 25, 2025·20m·1 clip - 13
222: I Don’t Know What’s Real Anymore How to Rebuild Self-Trust After Emotional Chaos
Andrea Seidel interviews Andy Campbell, author of Overcoming Life’s Toughest Setbacks, about surviving childhood sexual abuse, bullying, stage four pancreatic cancer, and the suicide of his youngest son.
Jun 18, 2025·1h 1m·4 clips - 14
221: When Life Breaks You: Overcoming Life’s Toughest Setbacks with Andy Campbell
Jun 11, 2025·1h 1m - 15
220: Letting Go of Your Best Friend — When Grief Feels Unbearable
Jun 4, 2025·22m - 16
219: Loving Them Is Hurting Me How to Set Boundaries Without Losing Your Heart
May 28, 2025·28m - 17
218: How Do I Let Go When I Still Love Them? The Grief of Releasing Someone You Never Stopped Caring About
May 21, 2025·28m - 18
217: When You’re Walking on Eggshells How Chronic Hypervigilance Impacts Your Body, Brain & Relationships
May 14, 2025·24m - 19
216: Beyond Meetings and Therapy — When You’re Doing the Work and Still Feel Stuck
May 9, 2025·23m - 20
215: Shattered, But Still Standing — When You’ve Lost Everything But Yourself
May 2, 2025·22m - 21
214: Boundaries Before Baby — Protecting Your Peace as a New Mom
Apr 25, 2025·20m - 22
213: I Don’t Feel Like Myself Anymore Rediscovering Your Identity After Losing Yourself in Someone Else’s Struggle
Apr 23, 2025·24m - 23
212: I Thought I’d Be Over This by Now — When Injustice Keeps Hurting
Apr 18, 2025·15m - 24
211: Am I Enabling or Empowering? How to Support Without Getting Stuck in the Cycle
Apr 16, 2025·34m - 25
210: Do I Step In or Let Go? — When You’re Tired of Being the Fixer
Apr 11, 2025·17m - 26
209: Healing Through Setbacks- A Self-Compassionate Approach to Addiction’s Impact
Apr 1, 2025·21m - 27
208: Feel Good Again- Embracing Positivity When Addiction Drains You
Mar 25, 2025·21m - 28
207: See Yourself Clearly- Reclaiming Your Worth When Their Addiction Shakes You
Mar 18, 2025·26m - 29
206: From Powerless to Powerful- Reclaiming Your Strength and Control
Mar 11, 2025·22m - 30
205: Permission to Be Human in Tough Times- Let Go of Perfection and Embrace Compassion
Mar 4, 2025·21m - 31
204: Know Yourself Again: The Power of Self-Awareness in Healing from Addiction’s Impact
Feb 25, 2025·22m - 32
203: Struggling Well- How to Grow When Addiction Tests You
Hidden gemAndrea Seidel's Saving You Is Killing Me episode 203, "Struggling Well- How to Grow When Addiction Tests You," turns the phrase "the struggle is real" into a practical framework for loving someone with an addiction.
Feb 18, 2025·22m·1 clip - 33
202: Control vs. Influence:-The Powerful Shift You Need to Take Back Your Life
Andrea Seidel discusses the life-changing distinction between control and influence for those loving someone with an addiction.
Feb 11, 2025·21m - 34
201- The 4 C’s That Will Transform Your Journey- Compassion, Care, Courage, and Community
Feb 4, 2025·21m - 35
200: The Fresh Start Effect-Embrace New Beginnings with Saving You Is Killing Me
Jan 31, 2025·18m - 36
199- When You Feel Like You Can’t Do This Anymore
Jan 21, 2025·20m - 37
198- Are They Ready for Recovery? Why Wait Until Rock Bottom
Jan 14, 2025·14m - 38
197- Exciting News: Introducing My New Book and Podcast, Recovery Without Rock Bottom
Jan 7, 2025·19m - 39
196-The Courage to Reclaim Your Life: Embracing the Six Types of Courage
Jan 2, 2025·29m - 40
195- From Broken to Beautiful: A Journey of Healing and Celebrating New Beginnings
Dec 11, 2024·28m - 41
194- Level Two Gratitude: Finding Light in the Darkness
Nov 26, 2024·21m - 42
193: Differentiation—Holding Onto Yourself in the Face of Addiction
Nov 19, 2024·22m - 43
192: The Hidden Side of Dependence- Why They Might Be Hiding It From You
Nov 12, 2024·18m - 44
191: Understanding Withdrawal- Why They Can’t Just Stop
Andrea Seidel introduces a podcast episode focused on understanding withdrawal and supporting loved ones with addiction.
Nov 5, 2024·21m - 45
190: Just When You Think You Can Breathe- Navigating the Unpredictable Nature of Addiction
Oct 29, 2024·16m - 46
189- Surviving Addiction: Chris Cull's Recovery Journey – Inspire by Example
Oct 22, 2024·46m - 47
188- Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Andrea Seidel introduces the podcast and invites listeners to a monthly support group for those loving someone with an addiction.
Oct 15, 2024·21m - 48
187- Addict in the House: A No-Nonsense Family Guide Through Addiction and Recovery
Oct 8, 2024·19m - 49
186- Finding Strength in Loving Someone with Addiction: A Conversation with Emiliya Zhivotovskaya
A conversation with Emiliya Zhivotovskaya about finding strength while loving someone with an addiction, using positive psychology and community support.
Oct 1, 2024·42m - 50
185- Dopamine Detox: A Step-by-Step Guide to Overcome Addictions, Break Bad Habits, and Stop Obsessive Thoughts
A guide to using dopamine detox to overcome addictions and break bad habits, with a focus on supporting loved ones of addicts.
Sep 24, 2024·21m