A raw breakup story that stays with the fallout instead of polishing it.
It opens with some loose conversation before settling into a hard account of betrayal, eviction, legal pressure, and the struggle to keep going.
Not As We Planned
Tash Gershfield & Carly Harris
159 episodes listed below
Listen to the show on
Breakups, rebuilding, and best-friend bluntness.
The gist
Not As We Planned turns post-breakup life into fast, intimate conversation: grief, co-parenting, dating, no contact, betrayal, and rebuilding. It is loose and funny at the edges, but serious when a story lands hard.
PRESS PLAY
Find your next episode
About Not As We Planned
Not As We Planned is a candid show about relationships after the plan falls apart. Its world is separation, co-parenting, dating again, grief, family disruption, and the strange emotional weather that follows a breakup. The tone is fast and familiar. Episodes often begin with loose chat, updates, jokes, or sponsor-heavy openings before sliding into stories that are much heavier than the banter suggests. That contrast is part of the appeal. The show can laugh about no contact one moment and then hold steady through a story about control, intimidation, addiction, court stress, or betrayal. Its advice is not presented as professional expertise. It is closer to best-friend counsel: direct, protective, sometimes blunt, but usually trying to move the person in the story toward self-respect. Listener dilemmas and submitted stories give the show its emotional weight. The most memorable stretches replay painful chronology in plain language, then return to the central injury until the listener understands why it mattered. A woman packing up her life overhears another woman on speakerphone. A parent describes years of lies, unpaid bills, addiction, and the point where safety finally becomes non-negotiable. Another conversation pauses around grief after Carly loses her dad, letting the show become quieter without becoming polished or distant. Dating is treated with the same mixture of curiosity and alarm. Exes can be tempting, damaging, familiar, or simply hard to stop thinking about. No contact is not just a tactic here; it becomes a small daily reckoning with the reality that someone is no longer part of a life. Guests add occasional outside angles, including Colin as a first male guest and Sabrina Zohar in a relationship-focused episode. The show suits listeners who want emotional candor without a therapy-room sheen. It is warm, chaotic, validating, and sharp enough to say when hope has become expensive.
Made for: For listeners navigating separation, co-parenting, dating after heartbreak, no contact, or the long emotional cleanup after a relationship ends. It also suits fans of conversational relationship shows with a messy, intimate rhythm.
What sets it apart: The show blends chaotic banter with unusually direct emotional processing, so hard listener stories do not feel sanitized. Its strength is the quick pivot from joke to gut-punch to practical self-respect.
In their own words
When two single mums come together to talk about the realisation of their marriages ending. Chatting all about the new challenges faced as a single parent, coparenting, dating again in your 30s and everything in between. We love hearing from you about your stories, dilemmas, dating disasters, happy endings (both kinds) so email us on [email protected] EPISODE EVERY THURSDAY PATREON EPISODE EVERY MONDAYFollow us Not As We Planned Podcast:@notasweplanned_podcastTash:@tash_blake_ivyCarly:@iamcarlyharrisLink to our shop:https://notasweplanned.shop/Producer:@tristanhehir Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
As heard by us
Based on 5 episodes we listened to · September 2026
Tash and Carly bring humor, candor, and hard-earned perspective to divorce, dating, betrayal, and rebuilding family life.
Not As We Planned turns relationship breakdown into a candid conversation between Tash, Carly, their guests, and listeners who send in personal stories.
Why you'd press play
This is the group chat you open when heartbreak needs honesty, nerve, and a properly outrageous dating story.
Press play if you want
- best-friend advice when betrayal has you questioning your instincts
- other people's dating disasters to make your own evening look impressively normal
separation and divorceco-parenting after conflictdating after heartbreakno contact with exesbetrayal and emotional abusegrief and family lossaddiction and safety concernslistener relationship dilemmas
Talks about
Best episodes of Not As We Planned
Short reviews from the PlayNext desk, based on the episodes we processed.
A hard story told with restraint, clarity, and emotional steadiness.
This episode centers on a hard account of leaving an abusive relationship, where gaslighting, financial control, threats, intoxication, and stalking all sit inside the same long pattern.
A raw betrayal story that stays with hurt, trust, and the slow work of rebuilding.
Nicole's story in Not As We Planned is hard to shake: after nearly 18 years of marriage, she learns her husband is having an affair with a friend of hers. The episode keeps that hurt front and center.
A blunt, funny look at divorce, desire, and moving on.
The episode keeps returning to Jess Miller's divorce, and it works best when she speaks about it plainly instead of polishing the edges. The hosts begin with some teasing, then let the conversation open up into sex, control, and what can follow the end of a marriage.
A messy dating story with blunt reactions and a softer finish.
This episode settles into an easy, chatty rhythm and lands best when it gets to the grimly funny dating story. The drunk, overfamiliar date is the part that sticks: plainspoken, a little horrifying, and met with a reaction that stays firm without turning mean.
Podcasts like Not As We Planned
This American LifeThis American LifeIra Glass frames weekly theme-driven segments spanning family secrets to Portland's protest conflict.
HeavyweightPushkin IndustriesJonathan Goldstein tracks down people from someone's past to engineer real reconciliation.
Episodes
- 1
I Found Out My Husband Had A 16-Year-Old Son I Knew NOTHING About
Oct 7, 2026·42m - 2
I’m The Other Woman… And I’ve Fallen In Love With Him
Sep 30, 2026·40m - 3
Carly Got A Nose Job… And She’s Finally Revealing Everything
Sep 23, 2026·1h 5m - 4
I’d Just Given Birth When I Found THESE Messages On His Phone
Sep 16, 2026·37m - 5
Carly’s Dating Update Just Took A VERY Weird Turn…
Sep 9, 2026·45m - 6
Young Parents, 3 Million Followers And Life Behind The Kern Family
Sep 2, 2026·1h 26m - 7
I Gave My Cheating Husband A Second Chance… 10 Years Later I Regret It
Aug 26, 2026·41m - 8
My Boyfriend Faked Cancer While My Mum Was Dying
Aug 19, 2026·38m - 9
I Married The Wrong Person… But It Led Me To The Love Of My Life
Aug 12, 2026·42m - 10
Hollie Dowding: Surviving Domestic Violence... How I Finally Sent My Abuser To Prison
Aug 5, 2026·1h 14m - 11
My Husband Is The Perfect Dad… So Why Do I Think He’s Cheating?
Jul 29, 2026·37m - 12
I Finally Left My Toxic Relationship… So Why Do I Miss Him?
Jul 22, 2026·42m - 13
Why So Many Boys Are Struggling Today & What Parents Can Do with Raising Boys 2 Men
Jul 15, 2026·1h 15m - 14
My Best Friend Lied To Me For 10 Years…
Jul 8, 2026·44m - 15
He Faked Cancer While I Was Pregnant
Jul 1, 2026·52m - 16
He Ghosted Me For 5 Weeks… Then Came Back Like Nothing Happened
Jun 24, 2026·38m - 17
My Husband’s Entire Life Was A Lie
Jun 17, 2026·40m - 18
He Didn’t Forget My Birthday, He Ignored It
Jun 10, 2026·45m - 19
He Left Me For a Man
Jun 3, 2026·38m - 20
Omg That’s NEW Information…I’m Terrified!!
May 27, 2026·48m - 21
I'm Always The One That's Left
May 21, 2026·51m - 22
I Trusted Him 100% Until I Checked His Phone
May 13, 2026·44m - 23
How Many Red Flags Did I Ignore?
May 6, 2026·51m - 24
I Was Ghosted 5 Years Into Our Relationship | Not As We Planned Podcast
Apr 29, 2026·40m - 25
I Found Out He's Been In Prison | Not As We Planned Podcast
Apr 22, 2026·53m - 26
Turning Pain Into Power | Not As We Planned Podcast
Hidden gemNot As We Planned opens with a blunt update from one host about grief, anger, low patience, and planning a solo retreat before turning to listener emails.
Apr 15, 2026·46m·2 clips - 27
I Can't Stop Comparing Myself to His Ex | Not As We Planned Podcast
A listener tells a story about years spent trying to live with an ex who lied, drained the money, and kept the whole home under constant strain.
Apr 8, 2026·41m·2 clips - 28
My Ex is my Guilty Pleasure | Not As We Planned Podcast
The host shares her recent ADHD diagnosis and experience starting medication with Concerta, discussing its immediate effects and side effects.
Apr 1, 2026·40m - 29
Should I Have an Affair? | Not As We Planned Podcast
This episode explores the emotional aftermath of losing a father while touching on the provocative topic of affairs, as the hosts share raw, personal experiences and advice.
Mar 26, 2026·42m - 30
Colin @loudsingledad: Our First Male Guest! A Man’s Perspective on Separation, Coparenting & Dating! | Not As We Planned Podcast
This episode features Colin, a single dad, discussing his experiences with separation, coparenting, and dating from a male perspective on the Not As We Planned podcast.
Mar 19, 2026·1h 17m - 31
When Hope Ends Up Costing You A Lot | Not As We Planned Podcast
Two single mothers discuss the challenges of divorce, co-parenting, and dating again in their 30s.
Mar 12, 2026·44m - 32
Sabrina Zohar: Everything You Need to Know About Dating & Relationships | Not As We Planned Podcast
Two single mothers discuss their experiences with divorce, single parenting, and dating again, featuring a guest interview.
Mar 5, 2026·1h 10m - 33
I Can’t Stop Sleeping With My Daughters Boyfriend | Not As We Planned Podcast
Two single mothers discuss the challenges of divorce, coparenting, and dating again in their 30s, with a focus on the emotional process of no contact.
Feb 25, 2026·41m - 34
Poor Excuse of a Man | Not As We Planned Podcast
A host shares her personal journey with her father's terminal pancreatic cancer and the grieving process.
Feb 19, 2026·43m - 35
You Need To Leave This Relationship NOW!! | Not As We Planned Podcast
Two single mothers discuss their Valentine's Day plans, with one sharing how her sons are taking her on a date, highlighting the joys and challenges of single parenting.
Feb 12, 2026·42m - 36
The Worst Affair Story You've Ever Heard | Not As We Planned Podcast
Two single mothers discuss the challenges of co-parenting, dating, and personal growth after divorce.
Feb 5, 2026·49m - 37
Me & My Boyfriend Broke Up | Not As We Planned Podcast
Two single mothers discuss the end of a relationship and the challenges of co-parenting and dating with multiple kids.
Jan 29, 2026·49m - 38
Nicole is this me: A Real & Raw Conversation About Her Husband's Affair | Not As We Planned Podcast
Hidden gemNicole joins the studio for a very personal conversation.
Jan 22, 2026·1h 4m·2 clips - 39
I've Been Sleeping With My Boss... Who's Married
This episode discusses a personal confession about having an affair with a married boss, exploring the ethical and emotional complexities involved.
Jan 15, 2026·45m - 40
Shelley J Whitehead: How to Heal Your Heartbreak, Set Boundaries and Gain Self Worth.
Two single mothers introduce a therapist and relationship coach to discuss navigating divorce and heartbreak in the new year.
Jan 8, 2026·59m - 41
Shelley J Whitehead: How to Heal Your Heartbreak, Set Boundaries and Gain Self Worth.
Jan 8, 2026·1h 4m - 42
Don’t Be a Ho Ho Ho!! | Not As We Planned Podcast
Dec 18, 2025·49m - 43
The Neighbourhood Bicycle Where Everyone Had a Ride | Not As We Planned Podcast
Dec 11, 2025·49m - 44
Jessica Miller: The Truth Behind The Breakdown Of Her Marriage And All The In-Between | Not As We Planned Podcast
Hidden gemJessica Miller says she and her husband started OnlyFans in 2018 to help with money, and she recalls their mortgage as "only, like, 600.
Dec 4, 2025·1h 13m·2 clips - 45
The Truth Is They Never Change... | Not As We Planned Podcast
Nov 27, 2025·48m - 46
The Not So Magic Mike Show... | Not As We Planned Podcast
Nov 20, 2025·42m - 47
The Messy Wife Swap | Not As We Planned Podcast
Nov 13, 2025·51m - 48
When Your Situationship Even Lied About His Name!!! | Not As We Planned Podcast
Nov 6, 2025·51m - 49
The Intentional Affair | Not As We Planned Podcast
Two single mothers discuss their experiences with divorce, co-parenting, and dating, sharing personal stories and advice.
Oct 30, 2025·44m - 50
The Intentional Affair | Not As We Planned Podcast
Oct 30, 2025·44m - 51
Jessica May: the untold events of her partner's affair and the signs that she ignored | Not As We Planned Podcast
Oct 22, 2025·1h 11m - 52
It's Giving Desperate Housewives | Not As We Planned Podcast
Two single mothers discuss the challenges of marriage ending, co-parenting, and dating again in their 30s.
Oct 15, 2025·39m - 53
Legally Nik: Answering Your Questions About Coparenting, Dealing With Narcissist's & A 50/50 Split | Not As We Planned Podcast
This episode addresses listener questions about coparenting challenges, dealing with narcissistic ex-partners, and navigating a 50/50 custody split.
Oct 8, 2025·56m - 54
Sending A Nude Into The School Group Chat!!! | Not As We Planned Podcast
Oct 1, 2025·45m - 55
I Got Eaten Alive!! The Dating Episode You Don't Want To Miss! | Not As We Planned Podcast
Two single mothers share honest, unfiltered stories and advice about dating, divorce, and co-parenting.
Sep 24, 2025·41m - 56
Should You Date Multiple Men At The Same Time?? | Not As We Planned Podcast
Sep 17, 2025·43m - 57
The hack to find deleted messages on your phone!!! | Not As We Planned Podcast
Sep 11, 2025·43m - 58
We’re Back in Our BRAND NEW Studio! Breakups, Divorce & Dating Real Talk | Not As We Planned Podcast
Two single mothers celebrate their new studio and catch up on summer experiences, discussing their journey and upcoming content.
Sep 3, 2025·43m - 59
100. Unfortunately Men Like This Exist…
Two single mothers discuss their experiences with divorce, co-parenting, and dating again in their 30s.
Jul 30, 2025·50m - 60
99. He Did Cheat.. But it Was My Fault
Jul 23, 2025·49m - 61
98. I Was The Other Woman But Didn’t Know!!!
Jul 16, 2025·38m - 62
97. He Told Me He Was a Vampire
Jul 9, 2025·42m - 63
96. An Unexpected Turn of Events
Jul 2, 2025·45m - 64
95. The Signs Of An Affair
Jun 25, 2025·44m - 65
94. A Massive Orange Dildo
Jun 18, 2025·48m - 66
93. I Thought He Would Change For Me
Jun 11, 2025·42m - 67
92. Describe Your Ex As a Brand
Two single mothers discuss their experiences with divorce, co-parenting, and dating again in their 30s.
Jun 4, 2025·40m - 68
91. She’d Flirt With a Pint Of Milk
The hosts discuss a recent first date that revealed red flags, reflecting on personal growth and self-worth in dating.
May 29, 2025·42m - 69
90. You Hooked Up With a Murderer
Hidden gemNot As We Planned opens with the hosts asking listeners to subscribe, leave Apple reviews, watch on YouTube, and join Patreon for monthly Zooms and extra episodes.
May 22, 2025·46m·3 clips - 70
89. It’s Giving… Love Bomb
Two single mothers discuss their experiences with divorce, coparenting, and dating in their 30s.
May 15, 2025·41m - 71
88. I Tried To Tame a F*** Boy
Two single mothers discuss the challenges of divorce, co-parenting, and dating again in their 30s.
May 8, 2025·42m - 72
87. Comparing Myself To The 'Other Woman'
Two single mothers discuss their recent holiday experiences and the empowerment of traveling alone with their children.
May 1, 2025·34m - 73
86. Catfish and Chlamydia
Two single mothers discuss their experiences with divorce, co-parenting, and dating again in their 30s.
Apr 24, 2025·38m - 74
85. Things Just Got Juicy
Two single mothers discuss the challenges of divorce, co-parenting, and dating, sharing raw and humorous advice.
Apr 17, 2025·39m - 75
84. How To Text a Guy
The hosts discuss personal updates, including attending an awards show and selling out their journal, before transitioning to relationship topics like appreciating a partner's birthday.
Apr 10, 2025·37m - 76
83. He Had a Whole Other Family
Apr 3, 2025·41m - 77
82. My Gut Told Me To Look At His Phone
Mar 27, 2025·40m - 78
81. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
Mar 20, 2025·43m - 79
80. Are They Swingers?
Mar 13, 2025·48m - 80
79. Something Is Wrong With Me
Mar 6, 2025·39m - 81
78. His Accountant Sent Him Vagina Pictures
Feb 27, 2025·42m - 82
77. Me and My Boyfriend Broke Up
Feb 20, 2025·42m - 83
76. Are We Dating The Same Guy?
Feb 13, 2025·37m - 84
75. Get the F*ck Out
Feb 6, 2025·40m - 85
74. He Was Messaging Other Girls On OnlyFans
Jan 30, 2025·41m - 86
73. He Has 6 Girlfriends
Jan 23, 2025·51m - 87
72. He Cheated On Me With My Midwife
Jan 16, 2025·46m - 88
71. We May Be The Villain But They Are The Clowns
Jan 9, 2025·41m - 89
70. If She Asks, Say I Was With You!
Jan 2, 2025·44m - 90
69. He’s Unstable
Dec 19, 2024·50m - 91
68. And People Say Men Can’t Multitask
Dec 12, 2024·39m - 92
67. He Would Shag His Mum If He Could
Dec 5, 2024·41m - 93
66. I’m a Girlfriend
Nov 28, 2024·43m - 94
65. I Knew He Was Proposing
Nov 21, 2024·46m - 95
64. You’ve been Exposed!!
Nov 14, 2024·40m - 96
63. Your Husband Gave You Chlamydia
Nov 7, 2024·49m - 97
62. His Thumb Was Bigger Than His D***
Oct 31, 2024·42m - 98
61. Baby Loss Awareness Month
Oct 24, 2024·50m - 99
60. I’m One Of Those Men Who Cheated
Oct 17, 2024·40m - 100
59. Green Flag or Bare Minimum
Oct 10, 2024·43m - 101
58. I Fell In Love With My Friends Husband
Oct 3, 2024·46m - 102
57. What A Mistake I Made
Sep 26, 2024·49m - 103
56. I Met HER
Sep 19, 2024·40m - 104
55. He Had a Porn Addiction
Sep 12, 2024·39m - 105
54. A LOT happened this summer….
Sep 5, 2024·50m - 106
53. My Husband Had an Affair With a Lesbian
Jul 25, 2024·43m - 107
52. Not Just Another One… Another 3
Jul 18, 2024·40m - 108
51. The Micro Penis Debate...
Jul 11, 2024·51m - 109
50. All He’s Bringing To The Table Is Chlamydia
Jul 4, 2024·44m - 110
49. Can Women Really Have Casual Sex?
Jun 27, 2024·44m - 111
48. Control Your Hapiness
Jun 20, 2024·40m - 112
47. The Hunky Hot Fireman
Jun 13, 2024·42m - 113
46. He Left because I Got Too Fat
Jun 6, 2024·48m - 114
45. Gaslighting 101
May 30, 2024·40m - 115
44. What's That Around Your Ankle?
May 23, 2024·45m - 116
43. I Want to Store You In My Basement In a Duffle Bag
May 16, 2024·48m - 117
42. A 3 Year Age Gap Between your Daughter and Mistress
May 9, 2024·46m - 118
41. The Home Wrecking Teenage Work Colleague
May 2, 2024·50m - 119
40. The Live Podcast
Apr 25, 2024·44m - 120
39. He's Literally a Walking Talking Red Flag
Apr 11, 2024·55m - 121
38. One of the Confessions Is Mine!
Apr 4, 2024·47m - 122
37. Good Luck to the New Woman
Mar 28, 2024·49m - 123
36. You Make Your Bed, You Lay In It
Mar 21, 2024·49m - 124
35. Apparently I Give Better Blowjobs
Mar 14, 2024·53m - 125
34. Buy Me a F****** Meal First Hun
Mar 7, 2024·48m - 126
33. Lydia Bright: The Single Mum Club
Feb 29, 2024·55m - 127
32. Hindsight Is A Wonderful Thing
Feb 22, 2024·56m - 128
31. Babe... He's Married!
Feb 15, 2024·47m - 129
30. What Would You Rather??
Feb 8, 2024·45m - 130
29. You Made a Lucky Escape
Feb 1, 2024·54m - 131
28. He Actually Spent the Evening In a Motorway Hotel
Jan 25, 2024·48m - 132
27. We Broke Up
Jan 18, 2024·58m - 133
26. Jessica Hayes: An Honest Chat About Being a Single Parent
Jan 11, 2024·54m - 134
25. A Fresh New Year
Jan 4, 2024·1h 1m - 135
24. He Was Cheating on Me With 4 People
Dec 21, 2023·49m - 136
23. That’s Triggering
Dec 14, 2023·54m - 137
22. Shelley J Whitehead: Healing your Heartbreak
Dec 7, 2023·52m - 138
21. Tis the Season
Nov 30, 2023·49m - 139
20. The Legal Queen: The Knowledge of all Things Divorce
Nov 23, 2023·56m - 140
19. Daniel Chidiac: His Take on Relationships
Nov 16, 2023·52m - 141
18. Reasons to Stay or Leave
Nov 9, 2023·52m - 142
17. Trying to Parent With Your Ex
Nov 2, 2023·54m - 143
16. The Downside of Social Media
Oct 26, 2023·55m - 144
15. Mum Guilt... But has Anyone Heard of Dad Guilt?
Oct 19, 2023·49m - 145
14. He Asked Me If I Wanted to Be Spanked and Whipped
Oct 5, 2023·49m - 146
13. Friends… some you gain and some you lose
Sep 28, 2023·43m - 147
12. Continuing the Healing Journey
Sep 20, 2023·54m - 148
11. Becoming a Mother
Sep 14, 2023·52m - 149
10. Dating in your 30s
Sep 7, 2023·53m - 150
9. Manifesting a positive mindset
Aug 31, 2023·45m - 151
8. Second Chances
Aug 24, 2023·50m - 152
7. Let’s Talk Dating Apps
Aug 17, 2023·57m - 153
6. Our First Holiday As Solo Parents
Aug 10, 2023·50m - 154
5. Trusting Again After Heartbreak
Aug 3, 2023·41m - 155
4. Red Flags
Jul 27, 2023·44m - 156
3. New Beginnings
Jul 20, 2023·59m - 157
1. It's Over
Jul 13, 2023·43m - 158
2. Having your psycho moment
Jul 13, 2023·47m - 159
Motherhood:Not As We Planned (Trailer)
Jul 13, 2023·0m