361. Breaking Free w/Mel Reyes: From Toxic Workplaces to Authentic Leadership

·56 min·5 clips

Mel Reyes reveals the one skill people constantly seek his advice on, exposing his unique professional superpower.

The episode opens with host Phil asking Mel Reyes to identify the one thing people constantly seek his advice on, revealing his role as a mentor. Mel describes his superpower as 'seeing people'—helping them reframe their skills and present themselves authentically. He then recounts specific toxic workplace experiences: a senior EVP who screamed on team calls, a demotivating subordinate who insulted colleagues, and a CIO who secretly labeled his team 'pathetic, hungry, and desperate.' These stories illustrate both loud and quiet forms of toxicity. Mel advocates for not code-switching, showing up the same in all settings, and using techniques like WAIT (Why Am I Talking?) to listen deeply. The conversation critiques the cybersecurity job market, where professionals blame systems rather than taking initiative. Mel shares his journey from rage and frustration to self-awareness, including punching walls in 2019-2020. He analyzes the broken sales industry where reps last 3-8 months while contracts span years, creating misaligned incentives. Phil and Mel discuss networking strategies, like asking for advice to build genuine relationships. They touch on IT leaders' challenges with being seen as cost centers and reliance on firms like Gartner. Mel emphasizes the need for IT professionals to be 'selfish' with their time, drawing boundaries to focus on personal growth. He references Denzel Washington's career stages: learn, earn, return. The episode concludes with Phil inviting Mel to speak to his senior IT leader community, highlighting Mel's expertise in resilience and cybersecurity.

As heard by us

A candid leadership episode about family pressure, emotional control, and senior IT responsibility.

Authentic leadership lands here through a plain, useful question: what do people keep asking someone to help with? Mel points to the work he shares, from feelings and emotions to technical knowledge, and to the trust that builds when others recognize a real skillset.

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Why you'd press play

You want a candid reset on leadership, resilience, and what happens when eight kids, anger, and holes in the wall all enter the same story.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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