You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic Parents · Torie Wiksell

I Could Win a Gold Medal in Overexplaining Myself: Growing Up With a Narcissistic Parent

March 3, 2026·21 min

Host Tori Wixel, a therapist and boundaries coach who grew up with a narcissistic mother, explores the pattern of over-explaining common among adult children of toxic parents. She frames this episode as a personal and professional discussion on a specific survival behavior rooted in childhood misunderstanding. Wixel connects her current struggle with over-explaining to recent physical illnesses in her household, explaining how stress depletes capacity and resurfaces old patterns. She describes growing up with a mother who likely had narcissistic personality disorder with borderline traits, who constantly told Wixel who she was and was not. A specific memory involves her mother insisting, "You're not an animal person," despite Wixel's love for family pets. This dynamic created a lifelong feeling of being trapped and unseen, where the authentic self felt imprisoned. Wixel explains that over-explaining develops as a desperate attempt to be seen accurately and correct the parent's false narrative. The host argues that this behavior is life-interfering, especially when one is already stressed or depleted. She notes that narcissistic parents often see their children as extensions of themselves, a dynamic amplified in her case because she physically resembled her mother. A key insight is that healing does not mean the behavior disappears entirely, but that one gains awareness and recovers faster. Wixel admits she still sometimes sends a "novel" of a text instead of a sentence when her capacity is low. She emphasizes that real healing involves understanding the trauma's impact, building skills, and developing self-compassion, not achieving perfection. The tone is confessional, educational, and deeply empathetic, blending personal anecdote with therapeutic insight. Listeners who resonate with feeling chronically misunderstood or who compulsively justify their actions will find validation and practical perspective. Those seeking a structured, guest-interview format or disinterested in personal storytelling from the host might choose to skip.

As heard by us

A steady look at why overexplaining can feel like survival.

The episode lands on a familiar family pattern: being told who you are, what you think, what you feel, and what you want until overexplaining starts to look like self-defense.

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Why you'd press play

If you keep explaining yourself when you feel misunderstood, this one lands close.

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