Hannibal of Carthage (Radio Edit)

January 16, 2026·28 min·2 clips

Sophonisba married two Numidian kings for Carthage, helped decide the outcome of the Punic Wars, and chose poison over Roman captivity.

The ad chatter clears fast. The panel gets to the march, with the host setting up Professor Josephine Quinn as the expert and Darren Harriot as the returning comic guesser. Darren comes in with low expectations. His old confidence about Eugene Sandow becomes the running joke, because this history is clearly not his patch. Then the elephants arrive. The host keeps the problem simple: troops and elephants have to travel overland from Spain to Italy because Rome controls the sea. Darren imagines the terror. A soldier heading into battle without Discovery Channel suddenly has to deal with an animal he has never seen before. Then comes the mountain question. Asked how to move angry elephants across the Pyrenees and the Alps, Darren reaches for peanuts, then improves the plan with cashews and ridiculous amounts of snacks. Josephine lets the bit run. Her correction is tidy: the mountains are not the worst part, since the elephants can mostly handle them. The river is harder. To get them across, his side builds raft bridges, covers them with earth, and makes the surface look like land. Then the female elephants come in. Josephine explains that sending them first helps the others follow, which Darren quickly turns into a night-out comparison. The joke works. Underneath it, the scene shows how much the crossing depended on animal behavior, quick fixes, and nerve. The numbers stay slippery. He leaves with 37 elephants, but the excerpt admits nobody here can say how many reached Italy.

As heard by us

A funny, brisk look at Hannibal's impossible march.

Hannibal's march from Spain to Italy over the Pyrenees and Alps gives the episode its shape. The more enjoyable thread is the back and forth between Darren Harriot, who keeps guessing at the details, and Josephine Quinn, who keeps steering things back to what actually happened.

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Why you'd press play

Press play for Hannibal, elephants, and a comedian guessing his way into a clear history lesson.

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