#720 - Lars Dehli | Datingapps: Kvinners Minimumskrav vs Guttas Krav

·1 hr 12 min·5 clips

80% of women on dating apps filter out men under 180cm, making half of Norwegian men invisible to them.

The episode begins with host Wolfgang Wee introducing guest Lars Dehli, a psychologist. They open with casual banter about climbing and past episodes before transitioning to the main topic: dating apps and the differing requirements of women versus men. Lars presents data showing 1.4 million Norwegians are single, a number that is increasing despite the ease of app-based dating. He identifies a core paradox: dating apps make connection easier, yet singlehood rises. The first major filter discussed is height. Lars states that 80% of women on apps set a cutoff at 180cm, effectively excluding 50% of Norwegian men. He argues this preference is evolutionarily outdated and doesn't reflect real-life attraction, where personality and chemistry matter more. He suggests an experiment: women should lower their height preference to 170cm for a month to discover a hidden pool of quality men. The conversation then shifts to body image. Lars cites a study where women incorrectly believe men prefer the thinnest body types, while men actually prefer normal-weight women. This highlights a key misperception between genders. They discuss the concept of 'mate choice copying,' where women find men more attractive if other women do. The next major filter is education. Lars notes 70% of female users filter for men with equal or higher education. Given that women now attain higher education at greater rates, this creates a significant bottleneck. They debate whether this preference for 'future earning potential' is sensible in modern Norway, suggesting high-achieving women might be better off with a practical, stable partner like a firefighter or teacher. Wolfgang interjects with a stark conclusion: he believes dating apps only provide real value for two groups—the top 5-10% of high-value men and promiscuous women. For everyone else, the apps are a source of frustration. Lars counters with his practical hacks: adjust height and education filters. The episode also touches on profile creation differences, noting men spend minimal time (often including pictures with dead fish) while women invest heavily. They briefly discuss conversation techniques for real-life dating, advising against job-interview-style questioning. In the final segment, they advocate for a return to real-life 'checking' (approaching people in person), citing the therapeutic benefits of facing rejection. The episode wraps with a call for listeners to try the suggested hacks for a month and report back.

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