Wiggle Talk - A Podcast For Parents · The Wiggles & iHeart Australia

How Connection Builds Confidence in Young Children

·37 min·2 clips

Erica Commazar says there is no such thing for a child as quality time without quantity time.

1. Wiggle Talk, hosted by The Wiggles' Simon Price and Lachie Gillespie, examines attachment security and how everyday connection builds children's confidence. 2. The guest is Erica Commazar, a New York-based psychoanalyst, parent coach and author, whom the hosts first saw in a Kourtney Kardashian conversation on The Kardashians. 3. Commazar's core thesis is that the first three years are a 'critical period' of social-emotional brain development and that safety internalised by age three is 'the foundation for future mental health.' 4. She says babies are born 'neurologically and physically fragile,' compares the first year to a 'fourth trimester,' and says carrying babies keeps the amygdala 'offline' and cortisol low. 5. She argues that 'there is no such thing for a child as quality time without quantity time,' and describes a tantrum as 'an emotional blown fuse' rather than a discipline issue. 6. On childcare, she lists options in order: the primary attachment figure, kinship bonds such as grandparents or an aunt, one surrogate caregiver, then a shared nanny, and she calls US daycare ratios of roughly seven to one unworkable. 7. Asked by Simon about his five-year-old son Asher, she says separation anxiety refers to the period from eight to 18 months, and that sensitive children met with empathy become less sensitive over time. 8. She says a parent on a phone teaches a child 'I'm not very interesting,' and she calls multitasking bad for the brain and for relationships. 9. She puts the rate of mother-baby miscommunication at 50% of interactions, says 'rupture and repair' happens all day, and says it is 'never too late' to change how you respond to a child. 10. Suited to parents of babies and toddlers weighing childcare and screen habits.

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