Who Even Are We?

What's with the Low Libido?

·27 min·2 clips
Katie and Rachel confront the unspoken reality of low libido in marriage, asking who it's actually fun for.
The episode begins with hosts Katie Mattin and Rachel Thaiday introducing the topic of low libido, framing it as a common but unspoken issue in marriages. They joke about the stereotypical 'sex every third Tuesday' dynamic among married couples. Rachel recounts a moment where she saw a perimenopause symptom list on a toilet door and believed she could get a blood test for diagnosis, only to learn from her doctor that diagnosis is based on symptoms and mood. The hosts discuss various factors blamed for low libido, including childbirth, tiredness, and distraction from phones. Katie shares that she avoids hugging her husband in the morning because she fears it will lead to sexual expectations, highlighting a difference in how men and women approach physical intimacy. They delve into the emotional and mental aspects for women, noting that female arousal is often tied to emotional connection and can be disrupted by unresolved conflicts. Rachel mentions undergoing therapy to explore how past transactional sexual experiences, like one-night stands for validation, have influenced her current libido. The conversation shifts to practical tips, such as reading romance novels to boost libido and the idea of scheduling sex, though Katie expresses skepticism due to her busy schedule. They address broader societal issues, including the accessibility of porn and its unrealistic portrayal of sex, which can mislead young people. Rachel reflects on generational differences, sharing a story from her youth about enduring inappropriate touching at work, which her teenage daughters find shocking. Katie concludes with a humorous anecdote about witnessing an aggressively mating bush turkey in Noosa, drawing a parallel to human dynamics. Throughout, the hosts maintain a candid, conversational tone, blending personal confession with broader commentary.

As heard by us

A blunt, grounded look at low libido, mismatch, and the frustration that can follow.

The episode treats low libido as a real strain rather than a punchline, and it lands best when it moves from blunt humor into a more thoughtful look at how mismatch can play out inside a relationship.

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Why you'd press play

For when you want a frank, funny take on why desire goes missing.

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