What If World - Stories for Kids · Eric O'Keeffe / Starglow Media

An Interview with Abacus

·16 min·1 clip

Abacus reveals his mother split into two wizards—one nice, one sad—while they're stuck in a door.

This episode features host Mr. Eric interviewing the wizard Abacus P. Grumbler in a remastered special from the show's early seasons. Mr. Eric is the storyteller of What If World, and Abacus is a recurring magical character from the podcast's stories. The interview begins with a misunderstanding, as Abacus believes his appearance will be a coronation ceremony crowning him king of magic. Mr. Eric attempts to clarify the event is an interview, but Abacus plays back a recorded call where Mr. Eric's vague language led to the confusion. To appease Abacus, Mr. Eric presents a paper crown labeled "king of magic," which Abacus criticizes for its poor handwriting. Abacus insists on a proper ceremony with music before the interview can proceed. Once crowned, Abacus immediately reverses roles and begins interviewing Mr. Eric about his earliest childhood memory. Mr. Eric reveals the P in Abacus's name stands for "perfectly normal middle name." Abacus describes his father as a wizard of "smoldering intensity" who burnt his eyebrows off and calls his mother a wonderful woman he still sees. He explains his mother became the most powerful wizard and had to split into two separate beings: one nice wizard and one sad wizard. Abacus confirms both versions of his mother are constantly trying to take over the world, though he doubts it would make her happy. A major conflict arises when Abacus demands to see the dining room for hosting an entire world, leading him to cast a spell that merges both characters into a door. Stuck together, they debate how to escape, with Abacus blaming Mr. Eric's "Wattesian" nature for hiding his podcast "pod." Mr. Eric devises a plan to press the space key on his computer to pause the recording, using Abacus's falling crown to trigger the key. The plan succeeds, freeing them and allowing the interview to conclude. The tone is comedic and playful, featuring rapid-fire, absurd dialogue and magical mishaps. The style is conversational and improvisational, building a humorous narrative from a simple character interview. Listeners who enjoy silly character interactions, lighthearted fantasy, and improvised comedy will love this episode. Those preferring straightforward, plot-driven stories or educational content might skip it.

Listen to the show on

Apple Podcasts Spotify

Play clips from this episode More from What If World - Stories for Kids