West Church Podcast | Mooresville, Lake Norman, NC | Relevant messages for today

It's OK to Not Be OK

·41 min·4 clips

Pastor Andrea Smith reveals how five people in her church experienced devastating loss within three weeks.

The episode begins with Pastor Andrea Smith welcoming the West Church community and announcing a new message series focused on grief, acknowledging it will be a heavy topic. She references five individuals in the church who experienced significant loss within three weeks, highlighting the communal impact. Andrea shares that the series will cover what grief is, being a companion through grief, and competitive aspects of grief over three weeks. She mentions daily meditations accompanying the series for those currently grieving or supporting others. Andrea briefly lightens the mood by asking about Super Bowl plans and inviting listeners to submit commercials for 'Stump the Pastor' segments. She then introduces Megan Devine's book 'It's Okay to Not Be Okay' as a resource, sharing that it influenced the series. Andrea recounts her own grief history: her mother died when she was nine, her grandmother died seven years later, and later her marriage ended and father died simultaneously. She describes starting EMDR therapy and how her therapist noted she discussed trauma with detached emotion, like reading a newspaper article. Andrea explains that society often encourages compartmentalizing grief, but the message emphasizes it's okay to not be okay. She shares a story about her daughter Lane and son-in-law JT experiencing a miscarriage, illustrating the importance of simply being present with grievers without trying to fix things. Andrea warns against telling one's own grief story to someone else grieving, as it shifts focus away from them. She references the TV show 'Shrinking' as a pop culture example of grief processing. The pastor delves into the biblical story of Jesus and Lazarus from John 11, noting Jesus' anger and tears as models for human grief emotions. She quotes Megan Devine on how losses can rearrange or tear down one's world, and discusses the lack of a grief hierarchy, emphasizing each person's grief is unique. Andrea mentions that grief lasting over 12 weeks can be considered a medical condition like depression, but normal grief has no set timeline. She shares that Megan Devine, a psychologist, felt ashamed of her past counseling methods after experiencing her husband's death. Andrea discusses C.S. Lewis and Nicholas Wolterstorff as examples of theologians who expressed raw grief rather than neat answers. She critiques Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's stages of grief, noting Kubler-Ross later regretted how they became seen as linear steps. Andrea states that the degree of grief correlates with the depth of love, and while clinical depression may need professional help, grief itself is not an illness. She references Ecclesiastes on there being a time for mourning, and suggests wounds can become holy through resurrection belief. Andrea concludes with a prayer and the idea that love doesn't end but changes shape, encouraging listeners to carry grief as sacred.

As heard by us

A steady pastoral reflection on grief, presence, and pain becoming sacred.

"It's OK to Not Be OK" treats grief as something that cannot be managed by repair manuals or hurried past by people who mean well. Andrea Smith frames the ache on both sides: those inside grief are trying to survive it, while those who love them often reach for fixes because…

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Why you'd press play

When grief feels hard to hold, press play for a sermon that lets pain become sacred space.

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