Velvet's Edge with Kelly Henderson

Breaking Down the 9 Traits of Narcissism (and How to Spot the Patterns) (The Edge)

·32 min·3 clips
Dr. Z explains that narcissists need excessive admiration because they actually hate themselves.
The episode begins with casual banter between hosts Kelly Henderson and Chip about their recent time together before transitioning to the main topic. Kelly explains she recently interviewed Dr. Jamie Zuckerman (Dr. Z) because she's frustrated with how narcissism has become diluted in popular culture. Chip shares his previous understanding of narcissism as simply self-absorption, like posting frequent selfies. Kelly clarifies that true narcissism is more about power and control than vanity. They discuss the nine diagnostic traits from the DSM-5, including grandiose self-importance, need for admiration, lack of empathy, and envy. Kelly emphasizes that narcissists need admiration because they actually have low self-esteem. The hosts differentiate between grandiose and covert narcissism. Kelly describes the moment of clarity when recognizing narcissistic abuse, which forces a complete reevaluation of one's worldview and relationships. She talks about the grief that comes with this realization. They discuss how narcissists cannot tolerate others' success and will sabotage it. Kelly explains that confronting a narcissist about their behavior is dangerous and that disengagement is the only effective strategy. She shares personal red flags, including constant confusion, physical tension, anxiety about word choice, and emotional depletion. Kelly describes losing weight and becoming disconnected from herself in these relationships. The episode concludes with resources for listeners who might be experiencing similar situations and information about their social media channels.

As heard by us

A plainspoken look at quieter narcissistic patterns, from charm and envy to control.

Kelly Henderson and Chip turn a sleepy coffee chat into a plainspoken look at narcissism, with attention to the quieter forms that work behind closed doors.

Read the full review in PlayNext →

Why you'd press play

You get a coffee-fueled take on the quieter, behind-closed-doors side of narcissism.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →
Listen to the show on