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Urban Principal: Leadership Lessons

Conversations of Growth Pt. II

·17 min·1 clip
Why banning post-meeting chatter is a crucial rule for building team trust and unity.
This episode is part two of a series on difficult conversations, hosted by Brett Anderson on the Urban Principal: Leadership Lessons podcast. Anderson builds upon the STAR model introduced in the previous episode, referencing the book 'Difficult Conversations Don't Have to be Difficult' by John Gordon and Amy Kelly. He recaps the STAR acronym: S for Small ego, big mission; T for Tell the truth to get through; A for Assume positive intent. The episode delves into the three R's of the model, starting with Rules of Engagement. Anderson emphasizes the importance of staying calm and civil during conversations, sharing an anecdote about a team that failed due to emotional conflicts. He introduces the rule 'no meetings after meetings' to prevent gossip and division, illustrating it with a story about a shy team member who eventually contributed valuable ideas. Anderson advocates for reframing 'difficult conversations' as 'growth conversations' or 'trust-building conversations,' drawing a parallel to how his school renamed 'after school' programming to 'enrichment' to foster a positive mindset. He highlights the need to keep the team's mission and vision central during discussions. The host outlines practical steps for teams, including asking members about desired transparency, practicing truth-telling, believing in transformation, and investing time. Anderson reviews the full STAR model, noting the other R's: Respect for your team in the process and Relationships matter most. He shares that his book, 'Urban Principle: Leadership Lessons,' contains a chapter on facilitating difficult conversations with examples from his experience. The episode closes with quotes from Louis Armstrong and John Maxwell, positive affirmations from John Gordon's 'The Carpenter,' and a reminder to stay positive.

As heard by us

A grounded leadership episode on making difficult conversations serve trust and shared purpose.

Conversations of Growth, Part II frames the STAR model from a leadership book as a usable way into hard conversations. Brett Anderson circles back to small ego and big mission, truth-telling, and assuming positive intent, linking those habits to trust, emotional energy, and the…

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Why you'd press play

You want a tense team conversation to feel less like a fire drill and more like growth work.

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