Friday Club | The Bone Smuggler

·59 min·5 clips

Would you rather secretly have sex with your cousin or have everyone think you did?

The episode begins with the hosts debating a 'would you rather' scenario involving sex with a cousin versus public perception. They transition to sharing listener-submitted stories, starting with a humorous tale about a man who exaggerates his ability to get football tickets. A central story involves a listener's Tinder date where the woman misrepresented her size as 5'8" and size 12 but was actually much larger; he receives a great blowjob but then blocks her and leaves. Another story details a woman who, grieving her missing cat Archie, collects roadkill mush she believes is him, sleeps with the cooler box, and later discovers it was a wild rabbit. The hosts also read a story about a Vietnam traveler who gets a 'sad handjob' from a German girl after she learns her father died. They discuss other dating mishaps, including a man who drives off after a date turns on lights, and childhood memories like climbing trees and stone fights. The episode includes sponsor segments for Skybet and Soccer Manager 2026, updates on Fantasy Premier League, and promotions for live shows in Leeds and Doncaster, with a listener choosing the Donny show over a birthday getaway.

As heard by us

A cousin dilemma, a disputed dating escape and a Leeds birthday plan keep the argument moving.

Social embarrassment drives the episode. A cousin dilemma gives way to a listener's story about leaving a date after discovering that she had misrepresented her size.

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Why you'd press play

You get a cousin dilemma, a disastrous date story and a birthday argument over the Donny show.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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