Desire, Longing and the Enneagram, feat. Tracey Gee

·44 min·4 clips

Tracy Gee describes the crushing moment she realized she was living out someone else's idea of success after a major promotion rejection.

The episode begins with producer Anthony Skinner introducing Tracy Gee and her new book on desire. Host Ian Cron welcomes Gee, who identifies as an Enneagram Three with a Two wing. Gee recounts first discovering the Enneagram through Richard Rohr's book in her late 20s while in vocational ministry, feeling it knew her intimately. She describes a pivotal moment when she was denied a promotion, which Richard Rohr described as seeing 'nobody as sad as an Enneagram three who has failed'. This failure forced her to realize she was living out others' ideas of success, sparking her journey to uncover her own desires. Cron relates this to his own experience shedding a script from his Greenwich, Connecticut upbringing that expected Ivy League schools and Wall Street careers. They discuss the tension for Threes between achievement and connection. The conversation shifts to defining desire versus want, with Cron citing James Finley's view that 'desire is the echo of God's voice in the human heart' and Augustine's perspective on meeting God at the point of desire. They address how religious contexts can create shame around desire. After an ad break for BetterHelp, Cron distinguishes wants as ego-originated and fleeting, while desires are soul-originated. He poses a question about what has always been true from childhood, suggesting it leads to emotional revelation. Gee emphasizes play and notes cultural/gender barriers to knowing desires. They discuss 'desire fog' created by capitalistic questions about money and productivity. Gee outlines her coaching approach: starting with calibration (noticing what makes you come alive), then imagination exercises like listing 100 wants, and finally experimentation through action. She shares a personal story of feeling guilty for planting tomatoes. Cron suggests 'sacred longing' as an alternative term. They touch on spiritual direction versus therapy for discerning desire. The episode includes a promo for Cron's Enneagram assessment. Cron reviews each Enneagram type's basic desire and fear, and Gee explains how each type faces unique barriers to accessing true desire. She references Howard Thurman's quote about doing what makes you come alive. The episode concludes with light banter about weekend plans.

As heard by us

A thoughtful Enneagram conversation about hearing desire before productivity talks it down.

Desire becomes a way into the inner life as Ian Cron and Tracy G., author of The Magic of Knowing What You Want, sort the difference between wanting and desiring through the Enneagram.

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Why you'd press play

You want to sit with what joy, play, and practical doubts might reveal about the desires underneath them.

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