From Survival Mode to Thriving: My Alcohol-Free Life Transformation | Valerie's Naked Life | EP 896

·53 min·5 clips

Valerie recalls holding a knife over her passed-out abuser, asking 'What am I doing?'

Cole Harvey hosts this episode of This Naked Mind, filling in for Annie Grace. Guest Valerie recounts her life story, beginning with childhood bullying and her parents' divorce, which led her to start drinking at 18 as a survival mechanism. She entered sex work at 18, describing it as a dazzling life that masked deeper issues. Her first marriage ended in 2013, triggering a downward spiral where she drank constantly, experimented with crack, and was hospitalized for mental health concerns. Valerie moved through locations like Langley, Salmon Arm, and Kamloops, cycling through jobs in nightclubs, escorting, and flagging. In 2016, she entered an abusive relationship with a narcissistic alcoholic, enduring physical and emotional violence, including a rape in 2018. She attempted electrical school multiple times but failed due to the turmoil. A turning point came in September 2019 when she met a kind man at school who helped her escape the abusive relationship. Despite this, she struggled to quit drinking until December 12, 2024, when she experienced spontaneous sobriety after years of self-reflection. She briefly attended AA but left due to internal politics, finding community instead in CrossFit, where she now trains daily at 4:30 AM. Reading Annie Grace's 'This Naked Mind' book profoundly impacted her, helping her reject labels like 'alcoholic' and 'victim'. Valerie emphasizes self-compassion, stating she no longer seeks approval from her estranged brothers. At 36, she is over 14 months sober, working as an electrician, coaching fitness classes, and competing in CrossFit and Hyrox races. She concludes by reflecting that her past hardships shaped who she is today, and she would not change them.

As heard by us

Valerie connects alcoholism with trauma, survival, and the early decisions that make leaving possible.

Valerie's account of alcoholism is bound up with what she was trying to survive: domestic abuse, sex work, trauma, and the need to put real distance between herself and danger.

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Why you'd press play

You want Valerie's candid account of alcoholism, trauma, and trying to find a way out of an abusive relationship.

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