“I STABBED MYSELF BUT NOW I'M CHILLING”

October 12, 2025·1 hr 41 min·5 clips

Charles stabbed himself four inches into his chest after drinking a handle of whiskey and taking Benadryl.

The host, Therapy Gecko, speaks with a caller named Charles about his journey from a suicide attempt to a stable, hopeful life. Charles is a 34-year-old man from Ogden, Utah, who has been a longtime listener of the podcast. He describes a past of severe alcoholism and an abusive relationship that culminated in a suicide attempt three years prior. Charles stabbed himself four inches into his chest with a chef's knife after consuming a handle of Jim Beam and a large amount of Benadryl. He survived after his ex-girlfriend found him and he woke up in the ICU with major surgical scars, including a "zipper" from his belly button to his pubic hair and a scar on his back from lung surgery. The physical aftermath includes a permanent indent in his chest and lingering nerve sensitivity that causes a jolting feeling when touched. Charles has since rebuilt his life with a supportive girlfriend he met on Hinge, a stable job he returned to after the incident, and a new apartment. His 14-year-old dog passed away in March, which was difficult, but his girlfriend helped him through the grief. He now drinks moderately, enjoys painting, and occasionally uses psychedelic mushrooms, describing an experience of "ego death" involving a vision of a golden eagle. Charles credits his improved mental health to his supportive network, his current girlfriend, and seeing a real therapist, and he no longer has suicidal thoughts. A memorable moment is his description of a hallucination while unconscious, where he was trapped inside a giant cheese grater confronting an old woman who told him he couldn't leave. The host finds the conversation calming and inspiring, noting how Charles's present contentment contrasts sharply with his past despair. The tone is candid, conversational, and therapeutic, blending dark subject matter with lighthearted moments and everyday chit-chat. Listeners who appreciate raw, personal stories of recovery and resilience will find this episode compelling. Those uncomfortable with graphic descriptions of suicide attempts, substance use, or seeking structured advice might prefer to skip it.

As heard by us

A messy, funny call that eases into a plainspoken talk about being okay with yourself.

Therapy Gecko opens with grocery-store small talk and paper towels, then settles into a more direct talk about getting more at ease with life. The loose pacing works.

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Why you'd press play

You want a call that starts goofy and ends up uncomfortably honest.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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