The Trans Narrative Podcast · Trans Narrative Pod

Mary Almy : Reclaiming faith, humanizing identity, and turning pain into purpose

·1 hr 16 min·2 clips

I took a butcher knife in the bathtub and my pastor said I was possessed by a demon and needed to pray it away.

This episode features Mary Almy, a trans woman of faith, in conversation with hosts Caroline, Jenna Doherty, and Alicia Mullins. Mary shares her life story, from a traumatic childhood in rural Pennsylvania to her work as a missionary and police officer, culminating in her later-life transition and advocacy. She describes knowing she was a girl from age five and facing severe physical punishment from her fundamentalist family in the 1960s. Mary recounts a pastor labeling her "possessed by a demon" and removing her from youth group leadership after she sought help. She details joining the military and later becoming a police officer, intentionally seeking dangerous assignments as a form of self-harm. Mary married a minister named Betsy, who became the first person she confided in about her identity. The couple served as missionaries for 14 years in Sudan, where Mary experienced profound isolation and suicidal ideation. She describes two extreme suicide attempts there: chasing a king cobra and intentionally rolling into the Nile River near crocodiles. In the mid-1990s, Mary discovered an online transgender community called Susan's Place, which was a pivotal moment of recognition. She began online therapy with a counselor named Judith while still overseas, leading to her decision to transition in her early fifties. Coming out to her wife's congregation in 2011 initially seemed affirming but quickly turned hostile, resulting in hateful petitions, job loss, and even having stones thrown at her. Mary now focuses on advocacy, sharing a poignant story of comforting a young trans girl at a Pride event who was devastated by anti-LGBTQ protesters. She helped establish a safe space for queer youth at a church when the local school lacked a GSA. A documentary about Mary's life, which won a festival award, originated from her volunteering to educate a senior citizens' group. Mary emphasizes that humanizing conversations are key to changing minds, citing her experience befriending a Sudanese secret police colonel who initially hated Americans. She advocates for trans people to volunteer in their broader communities to build connections beyond identity issues. The hosts and guest discuss the strategic importance of visibility and dialogue, especially with conservative Christians, to counter dehumanizing political rhetoric. Mary notes the internal struggle within her own Presbyterian denomination to become fully affirming. The tone is deeply personal, conversational, and reflective, blending painful memoir with resilient hope. Listeners interested in stories of faith, identity reconciliation, and grassroots activism will find this episode powerful. Those uncomfortable with graphic descriptions of childhood abuse or suicidal thoughts may find parts of it challenging.

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