The Parenting Skill Nobody Taught Us: Hard Conversations with Jeff Hittner

·33 min·3 clips

The average boy in America is exposed to pornography on the internet at nine years old.

["Andy Murphy introduces the episode's focus on why parents, especially dads, shy away from big conversations with their kids.", "He welcomes guest Jeff Hittner, an executive coach and founder of Ambitious Dads, a community for fathers.", "Hittner shares his background, noting he interviewed over 200 fathers to understand modern fatherhood challenges.", "He observed that men he coached could discuss business vision easily but drew blanks on family-related questions.", "Hittner emphasizes that open communication is the only way to create deep connection with children.", "He explains a father's primary role evolves with a child's age, from safety-keeper to learning-facilitator to advisor.", "Two main reasons dads avoid conversations are fear of encouraging bad behavior and feeling unprepared.", "Hittner cites data: the average boy is exposed to pornography at age nine, girls at 11 or 12.", "He recommends using ChatGPT to generate scripts for age-appropriate conversations on any topic.", "Andy compares this to having fire safety equipment without willing a fire to happen.", "Hittner discusses how parental anxiety rubs off on kids and introduces 'repair'\u2014apologizing after emotional missteps.", "He suggests dads explore why certain topics trigger them, possibly due to their own childhood experiences.", "Practicing conversations with a script or co-parent is advised, similar to athletes training.", "A common mistake is expecting to get conversations right the first time; Hittner advises starting small and continuing over time.", "Asking children what they already know about a topic can help gauge their understanding and correct myths.", "Hittner notes kids may know more about some topics, like social media, requiring dads to do homework.", "There's no one blueprint; conversations should be designed around the child's age, personality, and the topic's complexity.", "Creating a culture of regular communication through rituals like gratitude trees or Rose-Bud-Thorn prompts is key.", "Hittner shares a personal story of using ChatGPT to help his son with algebra, framing vulnerability as a bonding opportunity.", "He concludes by encouraging dads to build communication habits, such as a question box, to ease into harder talks."]

As heard by us

A practical guide to preparing for parenting conversations that many people avoid.

Andy Murphy uses this Secure Family Podcast conversation to address a parenting problem many people sidestep: why big talks with kids can feel heavy before they even start.

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Why you'd press play

For the parent whose next big conversation keeps getting put off.

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