The Relationship Recovery Podcast · Tiffany Denny, Kierstyn Franklin

Why Do I Keep Going Back to My Ex? Understanding the Pull of Past-Relationships

·46 min·3 clips

Kirsten says her teen relationship was “the hardest to get out” and included physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.

1. The Relationship Recovery Podcast focuses on why people keep going back to an ex and why that pull can feel so strong. 2. Kirsten Franklin and Tiffany Denny host the episode, and both speak from personal recovery work and one-on-one coaching with clients. 3. The episode asks what keeps someone returning to a past partner and how to break the cycle without adding shame. 4. Kirsten says the show exists to create “a safe place” for people to feel understood, educate themselves, and get tools. 5. Tiffany says many clients come in after a breakup, then disappear when they reconcile and feel embarrassed to admit it. 6. The hosts say friends and family should give grace, keep boundaries, and avoid shaming someone who returns to an ex. 7. Kirsten and Tiffany say a “trauma bond TikTok or real” led to feedback about calling these relationships “addicting.” 8. Kirsten says that language helped her feel less broken, because it moved the problem away from her “core self.” 9. Tiffany references a brain-study video comparing heroin use with leaving a narcissistic abusive relationship. 10. The hosts say loneliness, fear of being alone, and fear of judgment can push people back into old relationships. 11. Tiffany says people can go from living with parents into marriage or long relationships and then not know how to be alone. 12. Kirsten says guilt about family, children, and caregiving can make leaving feel responsible and complicated. 13. Tiffany says jealousy becomes intense when an ex starts dating or appears to move on. 14. Kirsten says people often fear the next partner will get the “better version” of the same ex. 15. The hosts say familiar relationships can feel comfortable because the brain knows how to handle their predictable suffering. 16. Kirsten says teen dating can set the stage for later relationship patterns, and she wants schools to teach healthier relationship tools. 17. Kirsten gives a long account of a teenage relationship that included physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. 18. She says “no contact” ended the cycle for that relationship and later helped her stop repeating the pattern. 19. The episode sounds like a direct, conversational coaching session with personal examples, practical language, and repeated back-and-forth agreement. 20. People dealing with breakup regret, trauma bonds, or toxic relationship patterns will get the most from it.

As heard by us

A calm, nonjudgmental look at why people return to exes, with shame kept firmly out of the frame.

Kirsten Franklin and Tiffany Denny have a clear, compassionate conversation about why people go back to exes, and why that choice does not have to be framed as shameful.

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Why you'd press play

If you keep returning to an ex, this helps you make sense of the pattern without piling on shame.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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