The Queer Family Podcast – LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories · Jaimie Kelton – Queer Parenting & LGBTQ Families'.

Leaving the American Dream: Raising a Trans Daughter and Starting Over in Spain

·45 min·2 clips

TJ says the 2016 election made him feel the U.S. was no longer "the country I thought it was."

1. The Queer Family Podcast episode "Leaving the American Dream: Raising a Trans Daughter and Starting Over in Spain" centers TJ Schimmel's move from North Carolina to Spain. 2. Host Jamie introduces TJ as a guest with a former heterosexual life, a husband, a transgender daughter named Opal, and work as an author, speaker, and life coach. 3. The episode asks what happens when marriage, parenting, and national identity stop fitting the life someone is living. 4. TJ describes first building the "American dream" with a wife, a house, a son, and job benefits before later reshaping his family structure. 5. He recounts a severe car accident in North Carolina that left him out of work, with his hand and head going through a window and his vision affected. 6. TJ says he realized in that moment that he could not die because he would be leaving his family. 7. He explains that he had never told his wife he was gay and delayed that conversation until after a major fight. 8. TJ says his ex-wife asked, "Why didn't you tell me sooner? We could have watched gay porn together," which shifted the tone of the disclosure. 9. He and his ex-wife tried an open marriage for years and later decided they worked better as friends. 10. TJ says they typed up their own divorce and co-parented their child without lawyers. 11. The episode notes that their child is now 20-year-old Opal, who is transgender and autistic. 12. TJ explains that after meeting Tyler online in North Carolina, he resisted the relationship because of a 22-year age gap. 13. He says Tyler gets along with Opal through Minecraft, gaming, and shared interests. 14. Jamie and TJ then turn to the move out of the United States and TJ says the 2016 election triggered fear, depression, therapy, and a sense of betrayal. 15. TJ says that after Opal came out as transgender, the family felt laws in North Carolina and nearby Tennessee were closing in on trans care. 16. He describes Opal's transgender doctor in Asheville telling them that people from Tennessee were driving hours for medication. 17. TJ says the family narrowed the choice to Malta or Spain, then tested Spain with a three-week trip. 18. He describes a village north of Barcelona, Madrid, and Opal sitting confidently on the metro as signs that Spain fit their needs. 19. The tone stays conversational and personal, with Jamie sharing his own safety calculations about saying "wife" or "spouse" in public. 20. Listeners who want queer family stories, trans parenting, and Spain relocation details will get the most from this episode, while people wanting a fast political debate may skip it.

As heard by us

A queer family's move to Spain becomes a story about coming out, co-parenting, and searching for safety.

Leaving the United States becomes a family story here, not an escape fantasy. Jamie's conversation with TJ follows the life TJ had built, the marriage that ended, coming out, co-parenting with his ex, and raising a transgender daughter while rethinking what safety could mean.

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Why you'd press play

You want the personal reasons behind a move to Spain, with identity, reinvention, and safety packed into the same suitcase.

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