The Motyv Podcast · Shayden J. Bertagnolli MS LMFT Men's Mental Health Expert

The Motyv Podcast Episode 19 | Liberation from Shame's Grip

·33 min·2 clips

He says shame can act as a false atonement and keep men trapped in a pornography loop.

Shaden Bertinoli opens by naming Motive as more than a therapy practice. He presents it as a men's mental health place and brand that is moving into a broader mission. He says he feels directed by God to build a program for men struggling with pornography. He also says he hopes to start a cohort of 10 men who would commit to a year of working with him. The goal is not only recovery. The goal is liberation, leadership, and a different way of living. He describes his shorthand for the work as helping men move from lusting to leading. That phrase becomes a kind of thesis for the rest of the episode. He speaks with urgency about men needing to lead their families, their own lives, and the people around them. The middle of the episode slows down into an explanation of emotional patterns. Joy is the easy example. When something tastes amazing or brings delight, the natural impulse is to share it. Shame works differently. Its default move is to hide. That contrast gives the episode its core shape. Shaden connects that hiding instinct to Adam and Eve. He describes shame as something that quickly makes them feel worth less than they thought they were. From there, shame is not just an emotion. It becomes a lens. Through that lens, behavior starts to feel transactional. Every action seems to raise or lower worth. Living that way, he argues, burns people out and leads to major mistakes. The closing section returns to hope and reassurance. He says awareness of shame alone can begin a liberating process, and that there is still more to learn about it. He also pushes back on the idea that God is shaming people. God's way, he says, is not shame. The episode ends with an invitation to lean into that truth and let it free up life.

As heard by us

A direct look at shame, hiding, worth, and the call to live differently.

The piece treats shame as more than a feeling. It becomes a habit of hiding, a way of pricing worth, and a lens that turns choices into wins or losses.

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Why you'd press play

You want a faith-forward reset for shame that keeps pulling men away from leading.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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