The Motyv Podcast · Shayden J. Bertagnolli MS LMFT Men's Mental Health Expert

The Motyv Podcast Episode 12 | The Art of Masculine Playfulness And Why Men Struggle

·39 min·2 clips

Shame can stop a man from letting a child, wife, or therapist “see into me.”

1. The Motyv Podcast Episode 12 focuses on masculine playfulness, the quote “You don’t stop playing because you get old. You get old because you stop playing,” and the way men lose play over time. 2. Steve, Blake, and the other host speak as the main voices, and their shared role matters because they connect the topic to parenting, therapy, church life, and marriage. 3. The episode asks what playfulness does for men, and it argues that play is tied to connection, vulnerability, and being less trapped by performance. 4. The speakers begin with childhood examples, saying children “learn through play,” and they connect that to the way boys and girls ask “why” all the time. 5. They bring in Andrew Huberman as a neuroscientist who says adult play can “rewire the way our brains work” and make people more efficient. 6. Michael Easter’s The Comfort Crisis becomes a major reference point, especially the Alaska section where isolation and nature produce “fluidity” and less resistance. 7. The hosts describe play as being “totally present,” with less concern for the past, less concern for the future, and more spontaneity in the moment. 8. They contrast that with the tendency to take “performance” seriously in work, church callings, and therapy sessions. 9. One speaker says the best therapy sessions are not the ones where he is performing knowledge, but the ones with humor, connection, and vulnerability. 10. The conversation also asks why adults shut down children’s “why” questions, and it argues that kids are often just learning and being curious. 11. The speakers say men can use efficiency, peace, and energy conservation as reasons to avoid play, even when those habits become a form of resistance. 12. They describe how a father can feel irritated by noisy kids, then realize the family’s play includes small arguments, laughter, and movement that settle on their own. 13. The episode says play often gives back energy rather than draining it, especially when a tired parent goes outside, shoots hoops, or joins the game. 14. One of the most direct claims is that play can reveal shame, because a man who feels full of “swamp water and garbage” resists being seen. 15. The speaker says men hide insecurity through achievement, and that out-earning, out-performing, or outdoing others can become cover for what they do not want seen. 16. The discussion keeps returning to intimacy as “into me see,” meaning closeness requires allowing another person to look inward. 17. The tone is conversational and bantering, with interruptions, jokes, and frequent self-corrections about cameras, timing, and whether they are being too loud. 18. The format feels like a loose roundtable rather than a scripted teaching, with the hosts moving between examples, personal stories, and practical advice. 19. Listeners who like parenting, men’s development, and therapy language will likely get the most from this episode. 20. Listeners wanting a tight, fast-paced argument with no detours may skip it.

As heard by us

A loose, faith-aware conversation about playfulness, peace, and the value of letting small frictions work themselves out.

The Motive Podcast stays with playfulness, letting a conversational, at times wandering exchange make the case that play can be an adult discipline, not something outgrown.

Read the full review in PlayNext →

Why you'd press play

You want a calmer take on playfulness, not a lecture about being serious.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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