The Joyful Mourning - A Podcast for Women Who Have Experienced Pregnancy or Infant Loss · Ashlee Proffitt

186. Hope When the Holidays Hurt [Part 02] with Kristin Hernandez

·29 min·2 clips

Kristin reveals how an unborn John the Baptist leaped for joy at Jesus' presence, showing God values even babies who never lived outside the womb.

This episode is part two of a four-part holiday series from The Joyful Mourning Podcast, hosted by Ashley Prophet. She is joined by guest Kristin Hernandez, author of the Advent journal "Hope When the Holidays Hurt." The series offers support for grieving mothers navigating the holiday season. The hosts discuss a specific journal entry focused on Luke 1:42-44, where the unborn John the Baptist leaps for joy in Elizabeth's womb at the nearness of Mary, who is carrying Jesus. Kristin shares that she has experienced the loss of five babies, including her son Ethan who lived for about an hour and a half and several miscarriages. A central topic is the theological idea that God values and knows every baby, even those who never lived outside the womb. They acknowledge that the biblical story of John the Baptist can be challenging for grieving mothers who are angry or frustrated with God. Kristin recounts her own past anger, questioning why God would allow her babies to die when He could have saved them. The conversation explores the tension between feeling profound grief and holding onto the hope of eternity, referencing the scriptural concept that present suffering is "light and momentary" compared to eternal glory. Ashley emphasizes that it is acceptable for listeners to feel sad, angry, or to "roll their eyes" at hopeful messages in their current state of grief. Both hosts share that their perspective has changed over time, with Ashley being 14 years out from her loss and Kristin being 7 years out. They discuss practical ways to honor babies during Christmas, such as hanging personalized stockings or special ornaments. Kristin's family has custom stockings and ornaments for her son Ethan, which have sparked conversations with her living four-and-a-half-year-old son. Ashley mentions receiving many ornaments from others after her son's death near Christmas. Other honoring ideas include partnering with organizations like Angel Tree or Compassion International to give a gift to a child who would be the same age as the baby who died. A key insight from Kristin is that while honoring traditions can be helpful for parents, a mother's love and a baby's value are not dependent on any outward action. She advises that grieving mothers should give themselves permission not to participate in traditions if they lack the capacity, affirming they are still good mothers. Ashley adds that traditions can be started or resumed in any future year. The tone is compassionate, conversational, and explicitly Christian, offering spiritual comfort and practical solidarity. The style is a supportive dialogue between two women who share similar experiences of loss, blending devotional reflection with personal storytelling. This episode would deeply resonate with Christian mothers grieving a pregnancy or infant loss who are seeking faith-based comfort and community during the holidays. Listeners who are not interested in a Christian perspective on grief or who prefer purely secular support resources might choose to skip it.

As heard by us

A gentle holiday conversation about grief, hope, and trusting God when broken things stay broken.

Episode 186 starts a four part holiday series and the podcast's first virtual book club with Kristen Hernandez, author of Hope When the Holidays Hurt.

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Why you'd press play

When the holidays feel too bright, this gives your grief somewhere quiet and honest to sit.

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