How To Handle Relationship Triggers In A Secure Way

·38 min·3 clips

Madeline reveals why your relationship triggers are not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.

The episode opens with host Madeline Charles introducing the topic of handling relationship triggers in a secure way. She mentions upcoming events like the 'Seven Secrets of the Securely Attached Challenge' and her year-long coaching program, the Irresistible Woman Experience. Madeline frames the conversation around the idea that while past triggers aren't your fault, healing is your responsibility. She contrasts reactive dating behaviors, like sending unhinged texts or bottling up feelings, with more secure approaches. Madeline introduces the concept of 'meeting the moment,' which involves being present with what is happening rather than avoiding or fantasizing. She shares a personal story where her husband Sean made a playful comment during intimacy that triggered her, leading her to pause and address it despite the awkward timing. This example illustrates walking the talk as a teacher. Madeline then discusses a client example where the client feels unsafe due to her partner's fast driving and tends to freeze during conversations about it. She explains how to stay grounded and regulate emotions to facilitate better communication. Madeline emphasizes the importance of emotional digestion tools, such as journaling or coaching, to process triggers independently before bringing them to a partner. She suggests practical steps like having a cheat sheet on your phone to stay present during charged moments. The episode concludes with encouragement to use these tools to strengthen relationships and deepen connection.

As heard by us

A grounded coaching episode on staying present when a bid for connection hits a relationship trigger.

Relationship triggers often show up in plain, ordinary moments: one partner reaches for closeness, while the other is distracted by a phone or caught up in their own concerns.

Read the full review in PlayNext →

Why you'd press play

When a bid for closeness meets a distracted partner, you get a steady, intimate way to meet the moment without turning it into a whole relationship trial.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

Listen to the show on

Apple Podcasts Spotify

Play clips from this episode More from The Irresistible Woman® Podcast