The Christian Habits Podcast · Barb Raveling

Kristen Strong: How to Make and Keep Friends

·32 min·2 clips

Kristen Strong felt completely alone in Ohio, realizing she had no idea how to make friends for the first time.

This episode features author Kristen Strong discussing the challenges and practical steps of making and maintaining friendships from a Christian perspective. Host Barb Raveling engages Strong, who draws from her experiences as a former military wife and her work on faith and community. Strong's background of frequent moves contrasts with her rooted childhood, shaping her understanding of friendship. Strong explains that her initial move to Ohio revealed her inability to form friendships organically, leading to a period of loneliness. She identifies modern obstacles like increased individualism, social media offering superficial connection, and a cultural de-prioritization of friendship compared to past generations. Strong cites C.S. Lewis's "The Four Loves" and notes research indicating the pandemic exacerbated loneliness. She mentions current parents spend twice as much time with their children than previous generations did, reducing time for adult friendships. A key insight is Strong's three-part framework for friendship: showing up, opening up, and praying up. She advises intentionally going to repeatable activities like church or exercise classes to meet people. Strong challenges the assumption that long-time residents aren't seeking new friends, sharing an anecdote about a neighbor who received multiple rejections. She emphasizes opening one's home as a fast track to deeper connection, suggesting simple gatherings like take-and-bake pizza. Strong advocates for specific prayers, asking God to highlight potential connections even during errands. She references Tim Keller's teaching on Genesis to underscore that being alone is "not good." Strong cites studies comparing the health impacts of loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. She shares a personal story where a friend named Jen lovingly confronted her critical spirit, which helped her grow. Strong also reflects on the value of short-term friendships from her military life, which remain meaningful years later through tools like social media. The conversation is educational and encouraging, blending personal storytelling with actionable advice. The tone is warm, conversational, and grounded in Christian faith. Listeners feeling lonely, new to a community, or in a life transition would find concrete strategies and reassurance. Those opposed to faith-based perspectives or seeking purely psychological analysis might find it less appealing.

As heard by us

A steady, practical conversation about friendship, availability, and making room for changing life stages.

Kristen Strong frames friendship as something that shifts with seasons and life stage, drawing on her years as a military wife and the repeated moves before she settled in Colorado Springs.

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Why you'd press play

If friendship feels awkward, this gives you a gentler way to keep showing up.

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