The Chochmat Nashim Podcast: Women Talk Judaism · Jewish Coffee House

Breaking the Rabbinate's Monopoly: Rabbi Chuck Davidson (Season 8 Episode 10)

·33 min·2 clips

Chuppot says it is “the only organization in Israel currently offering private halachic weddings outside of the Chief Rabbinate.”

Anne Gordney and Shoshana Keats-Jeskel reopen an old Chokhmat Nashim thread with Rabbi Chuck Davidson. They start by revisiting a first-season conversation about conversion, Russian aliyah, and people who were Jewish in every way except halakha, which leads into the bigger question of access to marriage. The point is marriage. From there, the discussion turns to the problem of a husband who refuses to give a get, disappears, or cannot because of illness or absence, and why that can leave a woman stuck when the standard halakhic prenup falls short. The hosts do not leave it at generalities. They ask how the mechanism actually works, and Davidson spells out the limits of a standard halakhic prenup, including cases where the husband refuses to cooperate, vanishes, or is in a coma and therefore unable to act. Then they get to Chuppot's answer. Davidson describes a tanai b'kidushim, a conditional marriage rooted in the Gemara and designed so the marriage depends on the couple continuing to live together without an 18-month break. That condition matters. If the couple is separated for that long because the husband vanished, abandoned the family, or became incapacitated, a private bait din can be asked to actuate the document and undo the kiddushim retroactively. In that framing, the woman is not treated as a divorcee at all. She is considered single again, because the original marriage condition no longer holds. Davidson also notes that whether the rabbinut will recognize the arrangement is a separate question, and probably not one they will welcome. The hosts treat that tension as the real story. It is not just a legal workaround but a challenge to the idea that one institution should have the final word. The conversation keeps circling back to practical responsibility. Davidson argues, in effect, that people should understand the tools available and not hand over their Judaism to gatekeepers. The episode ends with a blessing for Chokhmat Nashim, Chuppot, and other groups working to promote religion in a healthier way. The tone stays warm, but it does not pretend the stakes are small. It leaves the listener with a clear picture of how law, power, and communal obligation collide when marriage cannot simply be left to the rabbinate alone.

As heard by us

A grounded look at get problems and the halakhic prenup.

The episode returns to an earlier Chokhmat Nashim conversation and uses Rabbi Chuck Davidson's Chuppot work to show why get problems are not just a theory.

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Why you'd press play

When you want the halakhic mechanics behind get refusal, start here.

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