Romulus (716 BC)

September 25, 2025·1 hr 3 min·5 clips

Romulus admits his entire Senate is plotting to stab him at the Feast of Nonne Caprotine, then cut his body into pieces distributed under their robes.

Romulus begins in ridiculous discomfort. Wrapped in bandages, unable to scratch his nose or get water, he begs Ittlebar to free him while regret slips through the panic. The room already feels wrong. The itchy, thirsty complaint is funny until it becomes the way into something uglier: Romulus is being hunted. A servant has overheard his own senators agree on where, when, and how to kill him. The reason is bleakly funny. Romulus admits that when he gathers the Senate, he does not really let them decide anything. He announces decisions and expects them to take it. His defense is that his decisions are good, which somehow makes him sound even worse. The plan starts as ceremony. At the Feast of Nonne Capritone, before the next full moon, the senators will crowd around him as if they are honoring him. Then the mood turns. Knives come out from under tunics, the stabbing gets swallowed by the crush of bodies, and witnesses are left with noise and confusion. The coverup is nastier. Afterward, the senators will cut him apart, hide the pieces under their robes, soak up the blood, and act shocked when he vanishes. No grave, no clean ending. That is where the myth starts to click into place. Romulus wants the sorcerer to save him with the bottled life described by an emissary from the Kushite Empire. The farce has teeth: a ruler who treated the Senate like furniture has learned that furniture can carry knives.

As heard by us

A ruler, a Senate knife plot, and a bottle said to contain life drive the chaos.

The episode turns a state conspiracy into a panicked con, with a ruler trying to survive a Senate knife job by pinning hopes on a sorcerer and a bottle said to contain life.

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Why you'd press play

You want a Senate assassination plot and a sorcerer who may or may not sell bottled life.

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