i want to unalive myself with a pewpew - ep 509

·1 hr 23 min·5 clips

James confesses he was part of the reason Disney World removed its sky buckets because he and his friends spit from them.

The episode opens with hosts James and John reminiscing about Disney World's sky buckets, which were removed in 1999; James confesses he and his friends spit from them as kids. James then shares that he caused Cracker Barrel to replace real oil lamps with plastic ones after an accident where a lamp shattered. The hosts discuss modern euphemisms like 'unalive' and 'pew-pew', critiquing advertising-driven language changes. Listener Nathan submits a story about his four-year-old sister stepping on a treble fishing hook on a dock; she was taken to urgent care by boat, and a doctor removed it by tying a string and jerking hard. The hosts debate the medical wisdom of this. Listener Finn is highlighted as a top fan with over 61,000 minutes listened. James recounts a moment where his wife paused after saying 'baby', making him fear a late-life pregnancy, leading to a talk about parenting differences. John shares being invited to Bible study by a stranger at Walmart, prompting a discussion on appropriate evangelism timing. Listener Alexa tells a story about vomiting gummy worms and cheese crackers in her teacher's car during a trip to West Virginia. Julia's story involves her family checking into the wrong Hampton Inn due to an app error and disturbing a half-asleep man. TJ's story describes his grandparents setting him up on a date with Jamie, which surprisingly led to them becoming a couple within two weeks. The episode concludes with promotions and a humorous outro.

As heard by us

A loose domestic comedy stop where career hopes, Walmart avoidance, and retirement logic do the heavy lifting.

That Story Show turns a familiar parenting joke into a small comic equation: James Kennison and John Steinklover weigh whether a parent eventually has to pick a favorite, then wonder which child might one day repay the investment.

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Why you'd press play

You want parenting math and Walmart awkwardness with a strange little burger song waiting near the end.

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