Stop Losing Women Podcast: Dating Advice for Men with Harry Wilmington · Harry Wilmington

INTERVIEW: Lee Povey on Dating With Autism & The Benefits of Mens Groups

·49 min·3 clips

Lee teaches six core feelings—fear, joy, anger, sadness, interest, and disgust—as data for better choices.

1. Stop Losing Women Podcast: Dating Advice for Men with Harry Wilmington interviews Lee Povey about dating with autism and mens groups. 2. Lee Povey is a leadership coach, the founder of Lee Povey Coaching, the former national sprint coach for Team USA Cycling, and the host’s guest for this discussion. 3. The episode asks how a man on the spectrum can date, communicate, and build relationships with more self-awareness and less misunderstanding. 4. Lee says he is 52, grew up in the UK before internet dating, and started going clubbing at 14. 5. He describes making a fake ID from his birth certificate, going out to bars and nightclubs at 16 and 17, and meeting his first serious girlfriend through school and the club scene. 6. He says he had long-term relationships, including one that lasted two and a half years and another that was on and off for nine years. 7. Lee also says he went through periods of promiscuity, went out trying to meet as many women as possible, and often felt empty afterward. 8. He connects that emptiness to insecurity about being lovable and to a pattern of testing himself by whether he took someone home. 9. Lee says he only recently learned he is autistic and was diagnosed at 49, after years of feeling misunderstood. 10. He describes therapy in his early twenties and being introduced to MKP Mankind Project, which used the phrase “breaking the chain.” 11. He says autism helped explain why he disliked drinking, wanted to know where the exits were, and preferred physical touch only on his terms. 12. He gives examples such as disliking being leaned on while lying down, preferring a hug or a sofa cuddle over pressure from above, and feeling uncomfortable when others called those reactions weird. 13. Lee says clubbing felt overstimulating because of light, noise, and social pressure, even though he enjoyed people-watching in cities like Tokyo and Osaka. 14. He says he has always found it easy to talk to people but hates small talk, and he used that skill in real estate and sales. 15. He explains that he often spoke to women with the same curiosity he would use with another woman, and he coached friends away from pickup tactics and negging. 16. Lee argues for honesty about motives, saying he would bluntly tell women when he was not looking for anything serious and wanted to take them home. 17. He says his marriage improved after understanding his autism and his wife’s ADHD, because her chaos and his need for structure were no longer read as personal attacks. 18. The episode has an interview style with Harry Wilmington pressing for examples, while Lee answers with personal stories, coaching language, and practical frameworks. 19. Men working on emotional intelligence and autism-aware dating will get the most from it. 20. Listeners wanting quick pickup tips without self-reflection should probably skip it.

As heard by us

A blunt coaching talk that turns relationship conflict into a lesson in empathy.

The episode keeps its focus on a basic but useful idea: a lot of relationship blowups start when people do not say what they actually need. Lee Povey and Harry Wilmington stay close to ordinary moments like being late, feeling stretched thin, or snapping in the middle of a busy…

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Why you'd press play

You want a real conversation about empathy, connection, and what it looks like to handle conflict without turning it into a fight.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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