Spitballers Comedy Podcast · Comedy Podcast

Crying Over Dinner & Audio to Replace Your Car Horn - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

December 11, 2025·47 min·3 clips

“You are giving me the police” becomes the draft’s most obvious horn choice.

1. Spitballers Comedy Podcast opens with a would-you-rather about losing a front tooth versus having George Costanza hair. 2. Andy, Mike, and Jason host the show, and Al Borland is present to rate Jason’s scat and weigh in on the draft. 3. The episode asks which replacement horn sound, movie franchise, or awkward social decision would actually be worth choosing. 4. The first debate compares a missing front tooth with Costanza-style hair on the sides and skull showing on top. 5. Jason says he would choose the tooth, while the others argue that the hair is easier to hide in public. 6. The hosts cite a baldness statistic, with one line reading, “Up to 50% of men go bald by the time they’re 50 years old.” 7. They contrast natural baldness with the social meaning of a missing tooth, including a joke about being judged in a grocery store. 8. Mike says shaving his head is coming “this year,” and the others discuss whether a beard softens the look. 9. The second major debate asks whether an upcoming Disney film should be Pixar, Marvel, or Star Wars. 10. Jason chooses Star Wars for the fun of shooting a lightsaber-and-space war movie, while Mike and Andy lean toward Marvel for the screen time and character payoff. 11. They bring up Inside Out 2, Cars Land, Guardians of the Galaxy, Madam Web, the Eternals, and Owen Wilson as examples of how these franchises can land differently. 12. One point of disagreement is that Pixar can make a hit character famous, but some roles are only a voice and not a face. 13. Mike argues that Marvel has the best chance of turning a role into something people keep talking about. 14. The “laugh every time someone cries” versus “cry every time someone laughs” question turns into a frequency-versus-embarrassment debate. 15. The hosts realize that laughter happens constantly, while crying is rarer, which changes how often the condition would disrupt daily life. 16. A restaurant scenario follows, where a crying friend, a waiter, and arriving food create an awkward timing problem. 17. The tone stays fast, argumentative, and improvisational, with the hosts interrupting each other and riffing on each answer. 18. The format mixes would-you-rather prompts, audience submissions from Patreon and the website, and a draft segment. 19. Listeners who like comedian banter about appearance, franchises, and absurd hypotheticals will probably enjoy this episode. 20. Listeners who want a straight interview or structured advice probably should skip it.

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