Sober Cast: An (unofficial) Alcoholics Anonymous Podcast AA

Workshop: How To Recover - Bob D

·1 hr 11 min·5 clips

Bob reveals why he's a chronic alcoholic who drinks because of alcoholism, not the other way around.

This episode is a workshop led by Bob D, an alcoholic sharing his experience with recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous. Bob opens with a prayer and introduces himself as someone who relapsed repeatedly in the early 1970s before getting sober in 1978. He references page 20 of the Big Book, stating its purpose is to answer how alcoholics recover. Bob explains he learned he had the spiritual malady and physical allergy of alcoholism. He reads the diagnostic criteria from page 44 about inability to quit entirely or control intake. Bob distinguishes between acute alcoholics, whose problem ends with detox, and chronic alcoholics like himself, whose alcoholism persists. He discusses Dr. Silkworth's concept of the 'phenomenon of craving' as an allergic reaction unique to chronic alcoholics. Bob contrasts his reaction to alcohol with his sister's to illustrate the difference. He describes how alcohol made him feel normal and connected, unlike his sober state. Bob details the 'spiritual malady' of restlessness, irritability, and discontent that emerges in abstinence, driving him back to drink. He recounts trying alternatives like marijuana and medication, which provided insufficient relief. Bob talks about his resistance to identifying as an alcoholic, preferring therapy and hypnotherapy to find an environmental cause, which he never found. He cites the Big Book's statement that overcoming the spiritual malady leads to mental and physical health. Bob analyzes the 'great obsession' that one can control and enjoy drinking, sharing a story of a man who killed his family in a blackout. He explains how the progression of the disease reduces fun and increases consequences. Bob emphasizes the need to 'fully concede' being an alcoholic in one's innermost self, not just intellectually. He warns of the 'walk of death' where long-sober alcoholics reduce meeting attendance and service, leading to relapse. Bob references page 24 about alcoholics losing the power of choice and being without defense against the first drink. He concludes by describing how the memory of past pain fades while current discomfort grows, creating a tipping point toward relapse.

As heard by us

Bob links repeated relapse to resentment, sober work, and the mind's pull toward drinking.

Bob's account of repeated relapse gives the workshop its center. He remembers moving in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous in the early 1970s, trying to stay sober on fellowship alone, and returning in 1978 after others showed him how to bring the Big Book process into daily life.

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Why you'd press play

You hear Bob trace how a wanted job, then resentment, became part of the mental setup that made drinking feel like relief again.

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