Small Talk! With Alec Cuenca - Motivation & Mindset Podcast

How To Heal Your Heart (A Masterclass on Moving On) | Ep. 303

·1 hr 6 min·5 clips

He planned his suicide after a breakup, but a bus station closure and his mother's call changed everything.

Alec Cuenca opens the episode by addressing an audience at a live event, guiding them through a breathing exercise and thanking their hearts. He introduces the topic: why holding on causes more damage than letting go. Alec shares his backstory, falling in love at age 13 and maintaining a relationship through high school and beyond, totaling 11 years. When the relationship ended, he lost his identity and spiraled into depression, failing college courses and planning suicide. A failed attempt at a bus station and a phone call from his mother led him to snap out of it and hit a 'reset button' on his life. He explains that pain is constant, but resistance to pain makes suffering worse. Alec discusses three principles of letting go: it is challenging, painful, and takes time. He reveals experiencing a 'second heartbreak' and subsequent anxiety, which he identifies as an 'anniversary reaction' to trauma, where the body remembers what the mind has forgotten. Alec emphasizes the importance of grieving lost parts of oneself. He then outlines a five-step formula for moving on: cut off contact, accept and let go, forgive, invest in yourself, and be excited for the future. Throughout, he integrates personal anecdotes, such as dating multiple people within six months in 2021, and reads a listener's message about a three-year breakup. The episode concludes with Alec encouraging listeners to see failed relationships as preparation for better ones.

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