EP 344 - FRIENDS BEING HONEST with Ese Atawo

·45 min·4 clips

Ese's friend Kelsey told her, 'respectfully, you don't like men,' after seeing a picture of her ex.

The episode begins with hosts Joe Cabello and Sasha Feiler introducing the podcast's format, where guests defend something they love that is often misunderstood or hated. They welcome guest Ese Atawo, a Canadian actor and improviser, who clarifies the pronunciation of her last name with a towel analogy. Ese states her topic: she misses friends being honest with each other, arguing that modern friendships involve telling people what they want to hear rather than the truth. She reflects on having experienced more blunt honesty in her youth, during university in Canada, where friends were more straightforward without being rude. The hosts probe into specific examples, leading Ese to recount a story about a friend named Kelsey who visited her in Vancouver and directly told her, after seeing a picture of an ex-boyfriend, 'respectfully, you don't like men.' Ese explains she loved this honesty because it was truthful and kind, not just nice. The discussion shifts to how communication modes like texting make honesty difficult, as tone and compassion are hard to convey without face-to-face interaction, and emojis often fail to fix this. Ese describes undergoing a 'friendship cleansing' in recent years, partly due to experiences during the BLM movement where people offered her support only then, despite knowing her for years, which felt performative. She also mentions a minor incident that revealed friends' true colors, leading her to end those relationships after honest conversations. Ese connects this to health issues, sharing that her Russian gynecologist suggested fibroids might be linked to stress and negative energy, prompting her to evaluate friendships based on who adds positive energy. The hosts share their own anecdotes: Joe talks about challenging a friend over a song she made, and Sasha discusses protecting friends by not sharing personal grief to avoid burdening them. They explore concepts like kindness versus politeness, public versus private correction, and how children naturally express unfiltered honesty, as illustrated by Joe's daughter laughing at an elderly teacher's pain. In the ratings segment, all three rate honesty with friends a 10 out of 10, comparing it to creative fulfillment, protecting friends, and letting friends lead their own paths. The episode concludes with plugs: Ese promotes her improv classes in Vancouver, Joe mentions his website and YouTube videos from Pasadena Comic Con, and both hosts encourage listeners to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts.

As heard by us

A funny, unsettled conversation about when friendship makes honesty a responsibility.

Friendship is taken seriously in this loose, funny conversation between Joe Cabello and Sasha Filer, where honesty becomes the measure of whether people are really looking out for each other.

Read the full review in PlayNext →

Why you'd press play

For the moment when a friend might be on fire, metaphorically, and nobody is sure who has to say so.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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