Bonus: Reclaiming Your Sexuality and Becoming (Un)Subjectified - with Suzannah Weiss

·31 min·3 clips

A sexual experience at 18 healed Susannah Weiss's eating disorder by showing her women could be sexual subjects, not objects.

This bonus ad-free episode of Shameless Sex features sexologist and writer Susannah Weiss discussing her book 'Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject'. Hosts Amy and April introduce Weiss, noting her previous 2019 episode on the orgasm gap and her credentials as a certified sex educator. Weiss explains that the book's core message is about women not internalizing societal objectification and instead becoming centered in their own desires. She details how a sexual experience at age 18 helped heal her eating disorder by showing her that women could be sexual subjects. Weiss uses a grammatical analogy, explaining that women are often made the object in sentences and should instead be the subject of verbs like 'I look' or 'I want'. The hosts and Weiss discuss the importance of 'I' statements in sexuality and communication. Weiss reframes consent as desire, advocating for a 'hell yes' enthusiasm rather than mere acquiescence, with an example from a cuddle party. She shares a client story where a woman with sexual trauma reclaimed initiation in her relationship. The conversation turns to double standards, with Weiss critiquing the backlash against unsolicited dick pics for shaming male bodies while female bodies are celebrated. She also challenges the 'divine feminine and masculine' trend for reinforcing gender stereotypes that discourage women from initiating. Weiss emphasizes that her book, while focused on women, benefits anyone who feels constrained by gender norms, including men and non-binary people. The hosts invite men to read the book to better support women and discuss the role of men in addressing issues like sexual assault. Weiss provides practical tips, such as applying the 'hell yes' test to social events and sex. The episode concludes with information on where to buy the book and how to connect with Weiss, along with a call for podcast reviews to spread sex-positive education.

As heard by us

A grounded look at desire as a practice of sexual self-reclamation.

Sexual self-reclamation is framed here as a matter of agency, with Susanna Weiss making the case for desire over consent because desire names an active wanting rather than passive agreement.

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Why you'd press play

You want a sex-positive reset for the moment consent starts feeling too passive.

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