What Kills the Spark (And How to Get It Back)

·37 min·3 clips

A 55-year-old man is shocked when his lover's vagina swells and pushes out during orgasm, resembling a pastrami sandwich.

The episode is an 'Ask Emily' format where Dr. Emily Morse responds to listener voicemails on various sex and relationship topics. It opens with Ryan, a 46-year-old from Phoenix, who hasn't dated in 12 years due to a bad breakup and fears rejection from an office crush; Emily advises direct communication and practice. Next, Adela, 31 from Maputo, worries about giving off a 'friend zone' vibe on a first date; Emily suggests confidence, body language, and connecting with feminine energy. Bill, 55 from Ann Arbor, shares his initial discomfort and eventual acceptance of his lover's vaginal engorgement during orgasm, which Emily explains as normal arousal. Mia, 25 in Italy, discusses her long-distance boyfriend's fantasy of her sleeping with another man; Emily recommends exploring fantasies through dirty talk or storytelling instead of actual acts. Tessa expresses resentment over her husband's early morning sex routine and lack of satisfaction; Emily advises communication and self-exploration. Emma, 48 in New York, struggles with lack of sexual attraction to her long-term partner after a sexual awakening; Emily suggests therapy and honest conversations. Coco from Illinois asks about sex-positive education for her four-year-old son; Emily emphasizes using correct anatomical terms and open-ended questions. The episode concludes with Emily encouraging listeners to talk to kids early to reduce shame, referencing studies from countries like the Netherlands.

As heard by us

A warm, practical look at rejection fears, changing bodies, sexual curiosity, and the conversations that make pleasure easier to approach.

Sex With Emily turns uncertainty around desire into something practical and speakable. It moves through fear of rejection after years away from dating, office crushes, friend-zoning, new sexual acts, long-term relationships, and conversations with children about sex.

Read the full review in PlayNext →

Why you'd press play

You get practical ways to ask directly, sort out desire, and make room for pleasure when the sexual unknown gets loud.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

Listen to the show on

Apple Podcasts Spotify

Play clips from this episode More from Sex With Emily